Little White Powder
by DarkAngel814
Summary: College life is harder then Ruthie expected. She and her roommate Megan are struggling to keep up, and work nights. But does Ruthie turn to the wrong person to help cope with the stress? Will a trip home bring her round? Or send her off the edge?
1. From The Beginning

Chapter One: From The Beginning

_Six months ago_

Ruthie sat in her dorm room, nose pressed against the textbook in front of her so hard the ink was smudging from the sweat dripping off her face despite the fact that it was cold outside and in her room. Ruthie was so absorbed in reading she didn't hear her roommate Megan enter.

"You're going to go blind if you keep doing that!" She said in a singsong voice. Ruthie looked up momentarily to smile sarcastically. "Come on Ruthie! You're no fun!"

"I'm so behind Megan! I have to study!" Ruthie said desperately.

"At least take a break to grab lunch with me in the cafeteria?" Megan pleaded. Megan walked over to Ruthie and latched on to her arm pouting.

"I can't I had to cut back my meal plan," Ruthie sighed pulling her arm away.

"Why?" Megan said giving her a hurt look.

"I don't have any money, and I don't feel like asking my parents for help," Ruthie growled and slammed the book shut. "This is so infuriating!"

"I can help you get a job!" Megan said smiling. Ruthie looked at her roommate, surveying her.

Megan and Ruthie were complete opposites. Ruthie had long curly brown hair, lively brown eyes and an innocent smile. Megan had straight dirty blonde hair that fell down her back, brilliant blue eyes that shone with mischief, and a smile that could not only melt your heart but could also reveal her darker side.

Ruthie was a religious PK from Glenoak California. Megan had only attended church as child, to get baptized, first communion, and confirmed. She came from New York City and had grown up in the projects. Her father was in prison for murder. And she had four younger siblings.

Megan was the first person in her family to go to college, and she was on a full scholarship. Ruthie had also gotten a large scholarship but was far from the first person to go to college.

And yet they had clicked at once. The moment they met they had become best friends. It helped that they both were Drama majors, which meant they had one thing in common, that and they both loved to dance…

"Oh really?" Ruthie said swiveling around in her chair to face Megan. Megan smiled playfully at her.

"How would you like to work at the same place as me?" Megan asked, already knowing the answer.

"Um, awesome." Ruthie said. Megan smiled.

"Okay, come with me tonight to work and I'll talk to my boss. Now will you please come have lunch with me?" Megan begged. Ruthie sighed but nodded reluctantly. "Yay!" Megan squealed, she pulled Ruthie by her arm up from the chair and out the door dragging her slightly behind her.

That night Ruthie followed Megan to her job. They took the six train downtown. Ruthie thought that Megan was crazy, because she was dressed in a very skimpy dress; the glittery purple dress only came down to just above her crotch. Megan pulled Ruthie into what looked, and smelled like a bar. The moment they stepped inside Ruthie's nose was filled with a strong waft of stale cigarettes and regurgitated beer.

"You work here?" Ruthie whispered nervously edging closer to Megan as they hurried along through the crowd of drunken men, Ruthie noticed that everyone apart from themselves were men. But before Ruthie could say another word they had reached the front, Ruthie's jaw dropped. She had been wrong there were quite a lot of women, but they were all dancing on the stage, in varying degrees of nudity.

"Mr. Johnson!" Megan called out. A tall heavyset man walked over to them. Ruthie eyed him nervously. "This is my friend Ruthie, she needs a job—She's a really good dancer." Megan added at the skeptical look Mr. Johnson had given Ruthie.

"Okay let me see," He folded his arms and waited. Ruthie looked around nervously.

"Go on Ruthie!" Megan whispered. Ruthie nodded and listened to the music. She began to move her hips slowly, once in rhythm she began to dip in turn with the music. She stopped and looked a little bit more confidently at Mr. Johnson.

"She's eighteen right?" He said scratching his chin. Megan nodded vigorously.

"Okay, take her back to change," He walked off and Megan grabbed Ruthie. Ruthie was pulled behind a curtain and the dense cloud of smoke lightened. Ruthie looked around in amazement as Megan pulled her through what was obviously the changing room. There were at least eight other girls back here, as well as the ten on stage.

"Here," Megan held out a pair of tight leather shorts. "And…" Megan stuck her finger in her mouth and surveyed the rack of clothes in front of a small vanity labeled Mimi (Megan), there was an empty vanity to its left that Ruthie figured would be hers.

"Here" Megan handed Ruthie a red leather top that tied around her neck and only came down to just above her belly button. Once Ruthie was in them she surveyed herself in the mirror. To her surprise everything fit perfectly.

"I don't know about this…" Ruthie said, expressing the doubt that had appeared in her mind the moment they walked into the club. Megan shook her head dismissively as she zipped up Ruthie's leather boots. She sat Ruthie down and began applying her makeup.

"You're an amazing dancer. You're going to get so many tips…." Megan trailed off as she finished Ruthie's makeup. She picked up a pair of cat ears and stuffed them on to Ruthie's head. She grabbed Ruthie's hand and pulled her to the side of the stage. She snapped her fingers and got Mr. Johnson's attention. She waved her hands in a showoffy way over Ruthie; he nodded.

"But—"

"Now presenting Mimi, and a new edition to the Greenwich Hotspot, Kitty!" He bellowed into the microphone. Yet again Megan (now Mimi) dragged Ruthie along, only this time onto the stage. Mimi took her place on the right hand pole, one leg wrapped around it. Ruthie took a deep breath and did the same on the opposite pole. The music began and Ruthie (Now Kitty) let her body take over.

* * *

Authors Note: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! (to anyone who believes in valentines day and doesn't think its just a commercial gimic...hee hee which is isn't me I love Valetntines day! It means six months till I turn eighteen!! Whoo hoo! 

Now presenting my newest story! Yes I know I have sooooo many but I have sooooo many ideas so oh well : ) I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter and will post the next one next week! So please review and let me know what you thought!

Katie


	2. First Time

Chapter Two: First Time

_One month later_

Ruthie sat in front of the vanity labeled Kitty applying her makeup. She'd been working at the Greenwich Hotspot for a month now and was completely comfortable on stage. Beside her, Megan (Mimi) was adding heavy amounts of eyeshadow to her eyelids. Ruthie looked into her own mirror, she looked so different; her eyes now had that same shine that Megan's had. Her long hair fell in curl around her face, pulled back only by a pair of black fluffy cat ears.

"So you're not going home for Christmas?" Megan asked continuing their conversation. Ruthie shook her head. She had made the decision last weekend when she had gotten back the results of her exams. She was surprised that she had done so badly, but she couldn't say she cared that much, she had changed a lot since she started working at the hotspot.

* * *

"I'm gonna fail!" Ruthie whined. She picked up her textbook and tossed it across the room. She could feel every heartbeat as though it were magnified. She'd had three panic attacks that week during classes. Ruthie put her hand up to her chest and winced in pain her breath catching with every intake. The door to her room opened and Megan walked in, an exotic look in her eyes.

"Hey Ruthie! Studying again…. Ruthie?" Megan dropped her bag and ran over.

"I can't…breath," Ruthie cried. Megan took her face in her hand.

"It's okay." Ruthie looked at her and tried to slow her breathing. Megan opened the window and let the frosty air in. Grabbing a towel she wiped the sweat off her forehead.

"Thanks…"Ruthie whispered finally able to breathe normally again.

"You have to calm down!" Megan said worriedly. Ruthie nodded.

"I know but I have so much work to do…" Ruthie trailed off to avoid another panic attack. Megan sat up and looked away deep in thought. All of sudden her eyes flashed as she jumped up and walked over to her bag.

"I have something that can calm you down." Megan walked over and pulled a chair up beside Ruthie. She pulled out a small plastic bag. Ruthie looked at momentarily before realizing what it was.

"Megan!" She said startled by the sudden appearance of drugs.

"Relax Ruthie! It really calms you down, and hun you need to calm down." Megan dumped some of the contents onto a bare strip of desk. Ruthie looked at it nervously. Megan brought her head to the desk and inhaled the white powder. "You don't have to, you can go on having panic attacks if you like…"

"I don't want to…but I don't know about this…" Ruthie said tentatively. Megan sat up and wiped her nose.

"Don't worry about it…I'm fine right…" Megan said happily.

"How long have you…been using?" Ruthie asked. Megan shrugged and began counting on her fingers.

"Six months…since my senior year…So much work!" She said exasperatedly. Ruthie shook her head and looked at the bag lying on the desk. She didn't want to keep having panic attacks, but she knew drugs were bad. But Megan always seemed fine, and she'd been doing it for a while, this would explain some of her behavior. Ruthie made up her mind and grabbed the bag; she imitated Megan pouring the rest on to the desk. She leaned in and inhaled.

A rush of warm filled her as she let the powder work its magic. She was overcome with a feeling of extreme energy, like she could do anything. She turned to Megan, who was giggling. An airy feeling floated over her, she suddenly didn't feel so hysterical, and studying could wait.

"Let's go do…something!" Ruthie said, she thought her voice sounded different which made her laugh. Megan giggled and nodded her head vigorously.

"Let's party!" She yelled grabbing Ruthie's hands and dancing her out of their dorm, leaving Ruthie's books sprawled across the desk with the remnants of the powder still smudged along the edge.

* * *

Ruthie shook herself out of her thoughts and saw that Megan was leaning over her vanity her nose pressed against the edge. She looked back into the mirror, her face seemed so thin, yet it was nothing compared to Megan.

Ruthie and Megan had become increasingly more dependant ever since receiving the results of their finals. Megan had failed; she was now in danger of losing her scholarship. Ruthie glanced up suddenly filled with panic; she could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage, the shortness of breath creeping up on her. She opened a box on her vanity and pulled out her stash.

A few seconds later all panic had been driven from her mind. She felt wired, she couldn't wait to get on stage and dance off some energy. She turned to Megan a fire in her eyes brought out by the drugs.

"I don't need to hear my parents moan and groan over my grades. I don't care what they think!" Ruthie said fiercely. Megan giggled.

"You're so…independent!" she laughed. Ruthie rolled her eyes and giggled.

"Your nuts." She smiled. "I'm not independent. You're independent! You know what would be awesome? If we got our own apartment, fuck school! Just work here. We make mad money as it is!" Ruthie's words raced out her mouth so fast she was stumbling on them, she could barely understand them, and she wondered how Megan could.

"Oh my god! I know that would be so cool! Like fuck you everyone. A giant middle finger!" Megan laughed. "Like we don't give a shit, a school for fucking tight ass's anyway." Ruthie laughed hysterically.

"Yeah I know. How you supposed to do drama in that sort of environment?" Ruthie said flapping her hand around. Megan looked at her and began laughing.

"What are you doing?" she said overcoming her giggles.

"Getting rid of that bug!" Ruthie said.

"What bug?" Megan said looking around frantically. Ruthie shrugged and plopped down.

"I wish it were our turn already! I fucking love this job!" Ruthie screamed. Megan smiled.

"I knew you would! Do I like know you or what?" Megan spun on her heel her hands above her head. Ruthie stood up and fixed her skirt. She was wearing a black skirt that more resembled underwear, and red satin bra. A fluffy black boa was wrapped around her shoulders.

"Your on," Mr. Johnson said poking his head out from behind the curtains. Megan turned to Ruthie, her eyes shining devilishly. Ruthie smiled back feeling an intense rush of energy she leapt to her feet and this time pulled Megan towards the stage.

"Come on Kitty let's go put on a show!" Megan said. Ruthie smiled and sauntered on to the stage. Flinging her leg around the pole she grinned evilly out at all the men hooting and thumping in the crowd.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everybody thanks for the reviews and I'm glad people liked the first chapter. So here's the second chapter and you get a glimpse into Ruthie descent. This is all flashbacks leading up to when Ruthie goes home. Then the story will be in the present. But most of this story will be in the past but it doesn't make much difference.

So I hope everyone likes it, I did some research because I have never done cocaine so the stuff about how Ruthie 's feeling and the effects are taken from what I've learned about the drug so you can critisize that if you like but I can only pull from what I learn so yeah enjoy and tell me what you think of this chapter.

Katie


	3. Merry Christmas

Chapter Three: Merry Christmas

Ruthie rolled over stretching her arms high above her head and smacking into someone beside her. She sat up in alarm and looked at the person beside her, a wave of relief rushed over her. It was her boyfriend Tyler Montoya.

"Morning," Tyler mumbled opening his eyes sleepily. Ruthie pulled the blanket up to her chin to cover herself. She shivered and looked around the drafty apartment. Ruthie had met Tyler at the club; he was twenty. He lived in a small apartment in Greenwich Village.

Ruthie felt weird sitting in his bed naked. She felt even stranger remembering the previous night. Ruthie couldn't believe how she'd gotten to this point. One minute her and Tyler were arguing the next moment they'd hopped into bed. Ruthie felt extremely sore and tired, she wanted to go back to sleep but in her own bed. Ruthie rolled out of bed and pulled on her underpants. She found her bra under the couch and put it on. Her pants were easy enough to find but it took her five minutes to find her shirt.

"You want to go get breakfast?" Tyler asked. Ruthie looked at him and shook her head. His eyes were red and blurry, she wondered if she looked as bad as he did. She was never hungry anymore, that was another reason she didn't want to go get breakfast with him.

"I'm gonna get back to my dorm, check on Megan." She said pulling on her jacket. Tyler grunted in a noncommittal sort of way. Ruthie sighed and left the door slamming behind her. She couldn't believe she'd slept with him _I must have been high_ Ruthie thought.

Ruthie stepped out into the frosty air and took a deep breath allowing the cold winter air to fill her lungs. A shiver shot through her body causing her to tremble as she stepped on to the bus. She saw eyes watching her as she made her way to the back. She put a hand to her forehead and retracted it feeling the burning sweat that so often lingered on her forehead. She always seemed to have a fever lately. She looked out the window as they passed a pothole and steam swept over the bus as though they had gone through a cloud.

The bus rattled to a stop and Ruthie got off. She made her way along the streets until she came to her building. She waved at the security guard as she passed; he gave her a sympathetic smile as she passed.

"Hey Megan," Ruthie said as she entered. Megan stirred and opened her eyes.

"What happened to you last night?" She mumbled sitting up.

"I stayed over with Tyler…" She said pulling off her jacket and climbing into her own bed.

"You slept with him didn't you?" Megan said smiling and lying back down. Ruthie laughed, Megan could always tell.

"Yeah…" Ruthie yawned. "I'll talk later…I need to sleep…" Ruthie closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep.

Dreams including faces she didn't expect filled her mind. She was at the club dancing and then when she got off stage, she had walked into her parent's house. Frantic she looked for something to cover up but couldn't. Her parents, Sam, David, Matt, Mary, Lucy, and Simon walked into the kitchen. Ruthie stood there in her underwear confused.

"Ruthie?" Ruthie shook awake, she was drenched in a cold sweat. She sat up shivering and looked at Megan. "We overslept, we have to get to work." Megan said pulling on her stockings. Ruthie looked at the clock, it was six, she'd been sleeping for twelve hours.

* * *

Christmas came all too quickly. Ruthie and Megan spent it with Tyler at his apartment. Her parents had called but she had kept the conversation short. To her surprise Simon had announced he was going to be going to New York in January. Ruthie had been less then enthusiastic by this information.

"What do you mean you're coming to New York?" Ruthie demanded.

"I'm staying with Matt. We were thinking the three of us could hang out while I'm there, Matt says he never sees you, strange as you two live in the same city.

"Yeah, because New York is so small." Ruthie said sarcastically. The line went quiet, and Ruthie knew she'd pissed him off. "When are you coming?"

"January sixth to the twentieth." Simon said. There was a crash and Ruthie spun around. Tyler had knocked over a glass and cut himself. Megan giggled wildly. "What was that?"

"I'm at my…er…friends house. He knocked something over." Ruthie looked at Tyler who was busying himself by chugging a bottle of champagne. "I have to go. Call me later." Ruthie hung up and took the bottle from Tyler and dragged him over to the sink to wash off the blood. Simon was left utterly confused on the end of the line.

Ruthie washed Tyler's hand still thinking about Simon. What would she do with both her brothers lurking around New York? But like she'd told Simon, New York was huge. Although that was hardly the reason she never saw Matt, she saw him she just made sure he didn't see her and they hardly hung out in the same places. Like Matt would ever be caught dead in a club like the one Ruthie worked in, Simon maybe, but not Matt. Matt had probably never been down to the village. Ruthie's phone vibrated again.

"Hello," She said impatiently releasing Tyler. Tyler leaned in and kissed her.

"Hey Ruthie it's Matt. Mom told me you would be in New York for Christmas and Sarah wants you to come over for dinner—" Matt stopped. Ruthie pushed Tyler away sure that Matt had heard the noises he'd been making. "What was that?" Matt asked sounding slightly disturbed.

"My friend's being an ass—I mean…" Ruthie cursed in her head.

"Ruthie did you just say—"

"I'll be over for dinner." She interjected. She wouldn't have said yes but she didn't want Matt questioning her. Tyler looked at her in anger and pushed her off him. "Tyler, wait!" She hissed.

"Ruthie, who are you talking to?" Matt asked.

"What time should I be there?" Ruthie asked ignoring his question. Tyler went over and plopped onto the couch.

"Five," Matt said. Ruthie looked at the clock and sighed.

"Okay." She hung up and looked at Tyler and Megan. "I'm sorry I have to go, Megan you stay."

"I'm not going to stay, I'll come with you." She said getting off the couch unsteadily. Ruthie was happy she'd only had a little bit to drink; although she'd already gotten high after the call with her parents she had to.

"What about me?" Tyler whined.

"I'm sorry." Ruthie said she went over to kiss him but he shoved her away. "Fine, be a baby!" She stormed out with Megan behind her.

* * *

"Fuck, what am I supposed to wear?" Ruthie said digging through her closet. Megan shrugged. Ruthie made a mental note about her language, growing up she had never so much as heard a curse word let alone used it in everyday language.

"Wear one of your work outfits." Megan suggested with a giggle. Ruthie shot her a glare and threw a shirt at her.

Finally Ruthie picked out a nice black skirt that was a bit short but not too bad, and royal blue halter-top, with her favorite blue sweater. Ruthie brushed her hair quickly.

"I'll see you later," she called to Megan. "Don't get into any trouble."

"Yeah whatever," Megan called back. Ruthie hopped on a bus and went into a neighborhood that she never went to. Why did Matt have to live on Park Avenue? Why not at least Park Avenue south? Ruthie got off and walked up to a fancy apartment building. With a doorman and everything. 22E.

"Ruthie!" Ruthie had only knocked once when the door was flung open. Matt pulled her into a hug. "How are you? What are you wearing?" Ruthie scowled and pulled away.

"What do you mean?" she said sounding hurt.

"You look…are you sick?" Ruthie growled this time and went inside.

"No!" She snapped. Matt looked at her sideways.

"Sorry. You just look a bit flushed…" Ruthie was spared by the appearance of Sarah and she was holding one of the twins.

"Ruthie! It's so good to see you!" Sarah gave her a one armed hug.

"You too. So which one is this?" Ruthie said smiling down at the baby.

"Malcolm," Sarah said. "Well, Dinner is ready why don't you show Ruthie to the dining room?" Sarah said to Matt before disappearing into the kitchen. Ruthie looked at Matt who nodded and showed her into the dining room. Matt took his seat at the head of the table. Ruthie sat down, flattening her skirt as she did. Sarah came in with a large turkey. She set it upon the table with the rest of the food and sat down.

"I put Malcolm to bed with Jacob, you can go see them after dinner if you like?" Sarah said sitting down. Ruthie nodded. Matt carved the turkey and served everyone.

"So Ruthie how's school?" Sarah asked. Ruthie shoved some turkey in her mouth. After a moment she responded.

"It's fine," Matt looked at her skeptically.

"You live on campus right?" Sarah asked.

"Yeah, I have a roommate her name is Megan," Ruthie said. Sarah smiled and began questioning her about Megan and campus life. Ruthie answered her to the best of her ability. Truth was Ruthie never spent time on campus, Megan and her were always down in the village, at work or at Tyler's.

"You have a boyfriend?" Sarah asked. Ruthie smiled nervously and caught Matt's eye.

"Uh…yeah…" She wasn't sure why she just didn't lie, it would have been much easier.

"You do?" Matt asked. Ruthie nodded pushing food around her plate, she looked around, and luckily they were almost all done.

"Yeah, his name is Tyler Montoya." Ruthie said shrugging. Matt nodded.

"You have classes with him?" Ruthie laughed and looked up at Mat who was staring at her confused.

"Uh...no. He's not in school." Ruthie wanted to kick herself, why couldn't she just lie to Matt?

"How old is he?"

"Twenty," Matt coughed and began choking on his food.

"Are you all right?" Sarah asked standing up and walking over to him, Matt nodded and waved her off.

"Twenty?" He said hoarsely. Ruthie nodded. Sarah looked awkwardly between the two and brought her plate to the kitchen.

"That's a bit old don't you think?" Matt said wiping his face with a napkin. Ruthie giggled and sighed.

"No I don't, I'm eighteen Matt." Matt looked at her and smiled, Ruthie returned the smile.

"Yeah, you're right. But you're still my baby sister." Ruthie smiled and took her plate to the kitchen. Ruthie scraped her plate and put it into the sink where Sarah was standing with her hands on her hips.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked. Ruthie nodded and pretended not to have her heard her. "Ruthie?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" She pushed the door open and went back into the dining room. "I better get going, I don't want to be on the bus too late." She said pulling on her jacket.

"You can stay the night if you like," Sarah suggested.

"No, that's fine. I have work tomorrow," Ruthie said. Now this was true, but she didn't have work until night.

"Oh, where do you work?" Matt asked sounding mildly interested.

"I'm a waitress," Ruthie lied, this one thing she was going to have to lie about, Matt would never understand. "Well, I better go." Ruthie headed out the door giving Sarah a hug goodbye.

"I'll see you in about a week," Matt called out. Ruthie stopped.

"Huh?"

"Simon, remember. He's coming." Ruthie sighed.

"Right. See ya." She got into the elevator relieved to be heading back to her dorm.

* * *

Authors Note: Sorry for not posting last week I've been sick all week and I was on a college tour all weekend. But here is chapter three. This chapter was so much fun to write and read and I hope you all feel that way. It was fun because you really get to see the new Ruthie not just her looking back on her behavior but her living it and it's very different then Ruthie we're all used to.

My plan is to update every thursday so the next chapter should be up next thursday. I love all the feedback I've been getting from everyone it's great and I'm glad that the people reading are enjoying the story. I've been anxious to write this story for a while and it's fun to write it. I love write dramas and this story is definitely a drama.


	4. Simon's Visit

Chapter Four: Simon's Visit

Ruthie groaned and rolled out of bed, if it wasn't for the fact that she had to go spend the day with Simon and Matt she'd have spent the whole day in bed. She'd managed to push it off as long as she could but seeing as Simon was going back to California in two days she really couldn't postpone any longer.

Ruthie got out of bed and rummaged through her closet for something to wear. Finally she found a pair of jeans and a camisole. Ruthie glanced at her desk and looked at the box where she kept her stash. Maybe a little would help her get through the visit? She checked her phone; it was ten she now had an hour to get there. They were going to a movie in Times Square. She said goodbye to Megan who was still half asleep and then left.

"Hey," Ruthie said running over and giving Simon a hug. Simon smiled and looked at his baby sister. He was surprised at how different she looked. He had never seen Ruthie wear anything as low-cut as the shirt she was in now. She looked as though she'd lost quite a bit of weight, and to be honest she looked like she was sick. He looked at Matt who seemed to notice the change in their sister as well. 

"How are you?" Simon asked. Ruthie shrugged smiling. She was really happy to see Simon, as much as she got along with Matt, she and Simon had still always been closest growing up, then her and Matt, so it was really great to be with both of them. As long as they didn't bother her about how she looked.

"I'm great. How about you?" Ruthie laughed, she felt so energetic. She caught Matt's eye he was looking at her suspiciously but she didn't care.

"I'm good. After speaking to you on the phone, I didn't expect you to be this happy to see me." Simon said smiling; he didn't seem to notice anything.

"It wasn't you, it was my boyfriend Tyler. He was being such a baby!" Ruthie blurted out. "Because I kept getting phone calls and he wanted my attention. But you know he had me all week and all Christmas Eve. So what ever, he's still mad at me." Ruthie laughed and tried to calm herself down. She needed to stop talking before she gave too much away.

"You have a boyfriend?" Simon asked sounding a bit too surprised.

"Don't sound so surprised!" Ruthie laughed.

"He's twenty." Matt said speaking up for the first time. Ruthie eyed him carefully. Matt's eyes narrowed as they met hers and Ruthie quickly looked away afraid he might notice something.

"Twenty?" Simon said he looked a bit angry.

"Simon, don't forget I'm eighteen. It's not a big difference it's the same age difference between Martin and I. Nobody made a big deal about me liking him?" Ruthie said thinking about Martin. She missed him.

Ruthie thought back to when he had finally told her he liked her. She'd been dating T-Bone at the time, she was so happy she'd finally gotten rid of that horrible tattoo. Well anyway, after she'd gotten back from the road trip, she'd decided to do her senior year anyway, that year her and T-Bone had drifted apart. Finally they broke up, but it was too late with Martin he'd gone off to college up with Sandy. So Ruthie got into NYU and left.

"How is Martin?" Ruthie said pulling herself out of her thoughts. Simon shrugged, he didn't know if he wanted to get into the whole Martin subject. "A shrug? That's such wimpy answer!" Ruthie retorted.

"Well, Martin and Sandy are engaged…" Simon said Ruthie stopped causing a group of tourists to scatter to avoid hitting her.

"Really?" Matt said looking slightly happy.

"What?" Ruthie shrieked. Her voice came out rather shriller then she had suspected. "They're getting married? When?"

"Not right away. It's more of a promise proposal, for when they finish college." Simon said.

"But they're engaged?" Simon nodded. Ruthie looked like she was going to cry.

"Ruthie—" Matt began.

"We better go in and get our tickets." Ruthie pushed ahead into the theater. Leaving Simon and Matt on the street staring blankly at each other.

Once the movie was over Ruthie left. Matt and Simon tried to get her to stay and eat lunch with them, but Ruthie wasn't hungry, she never really was. She only ever ate because she had to. She walked around aimlessly for a couple hours until it was dark and she knew she had to get back to get ready for work. She hurried back to her dorm and threw herself onto her bed. Luckily Megan was gone already. Ruthie broke down crying. She ran over to her desk and pulled out a needle. She needed something stronger. She couldn't think about this now, she had work. She tied a piece of cloth tightly around her upper arm and plunged needle into her arm. The effect was instantaneous; she felt a wave of relief rush over her as her mind glazed over. She wiped away the tears and left for work.

Ruthie arrived to find Megan already dressed and waiting for her. Megan was wearing a red bra and panty set, with a black boa around her shoulders. She held out a pink bra and panty set for Ruthie with a white boa.

"Theme night." Megan said shrugging. "Are you all right?" Ruthie looked at Megan, she was sober for a change. 

"Yeah," Ruthie laughed. "I'm great!" She went into her corner and got changed, she was used to changing in front of everyone by now.

"Did you see the sign out front?" Megan asked.

"Nope, why?" Ruthie said clasping her bra.

"Because it features us!" Megan said happily. Ruthie looked at her.

"What?"

"It's a picture of you and me hugging remember when we did those sexy pictures. It say 'our main attraction: Mimi and Kitty' isn't that great?" Ruthie nodded a smile spreading across her face.

* * *

"So what do you want to do?" Matt asked as he sat down beside Simon on the couch.

"I don't know. Let's go out." Simon said. Matt thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers.

"There's this great restaurant down in Greenwich Village I read about. You want to go?" Matt asked.

"Sounds cool." Simon said getting up. He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on.

"We'll be back later Sarah." Matt called.

"Okay," She called back. 

"Let's go," Matt and Simon left heading for the bus. They got on the first bus and rode downtown. "We can get off here, it's not too far." Matt said. Simon and Matt got off.

"Have you ever been down here before?" Simon asked as they passed a rather overcrowded bar.

"No, but I know how to get there." Simon rolled his eyes and followed his brother. They walked around in what seemed like circles. "Okay maybe I don't." Matt said as they passed the same pub for the tenth time. "Let's try up this way." Simon followed Matt, they passed a club and Simon looked at the sign, he laughed to himself trying to picture Matt in one of those clubs.

Simon stopped short and doubled back staring more closely at the sign. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened.

"What are you looking at?" Matt asked walking back to him.

"That's Ruthie!" Simon growled angrily. Sure enough dressed in a red see through top, and wearing way too much makeup was Ruthie Camden, or as the poster said Kitty. Matt's eyes widened.

"Shit!" Matt cursed. Simon didn't even look at his brother, but stormed into the club and pushed his way to the front, Matt close behind. Simon looked up at the stage and was hit with the compulsion to cover his eyes and jump on stage at the same time. His baby sister was on stage grinding against a pole in nothing but her underwear. He stared at her waiting to catch her eye.

"Shit!" Ruthie whispered looking horrified. She stared down at her brothers' angry faces. Megan danced over to her and whispered in her ear.

"What's wrong?" She said as she dipped low so that she was at Ruthie's feet. Ruthie pulled her back up and wrapped her around the pole.

"My brother's are in the audience!" She hissed sliding down the pole. The room was getting hazy and she could feel that familiar tightening in her chest, this time it wasn't just in her lungs. The room began to spin, and luckily the song ended and Megan was able to pull Ruthie off the stage. 

Ruthie collapsed into a chair the room swimming in front of her eyes as she struggled to catch her breath. This was the worst panic attack she'd ever had. She heard high-pitched screams and dragged herself back into focus.

"You can't be back here! I'm calling security!" Megan demanded.

"Ruthie!" Simon roared. Ruthie struggled to her feet unsteadily. 

"Simon…you can't be…here!" She tried to yell but her voice came out strangled. She was really beginning to panic, her chest felt like it was on fire.

"Ruthie what are you thinking!" Matt screamed. "You're a stripper." 

"I'm not a stripper!" Ruthie said trying to get control of her body. She sat back down and looked at the floor.

"You're not even wearing clothes!" Simon shouted throwing a shirt at her.

"GET OUT!" Ruthie screamed, a wave of nausea rushed over her. She put her hand to her mouth to stop herself from throwing up.

"Get out of here!" Screamed Mr. Johnson. She saw Matt and Simon disappear. Megan rushed over to her.

"Are you okay?" She asked. Ruthie shook her head and stood up. She leaned over the garbage and threw up.

"Take her home." Mr. Johnson said.

"I'm…fine…" Ruthie said wiping her mouth.

"It's fine," Mr. Johnson said kindly. "Go home." Ruthie nodded still shaking. Megan began to get dressed but Ruthie stopped her.

"You stay!" Ruthie got dressed still shaking and left. She wrapped her jacket tightly around her as she left the building. Her whole body trembling now. She needed to lie down.

"Ruthie what are you thinking?" Ruthie spun around to see Simon and Matt advancing on her. Simon was screaming at her. Matt looked worried.

"Are you—"

"You're insane! That's a strip club! You're dancing in your underwear!" Simon screamed. Ruthie swayed panic rising in her chest again. She felt tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Simon shut up!" Matt said catching Ruthie as she fell. "Ruthie?" Matt felt her pulse and picked her up. Simon looked palely at Ruthie.

"CALL 911!" Matt screamed.

* * *

Authors Note: Yay cliffhanger! I love writing and reading cliffhangers they are just so much fun. I know as a reader it kills me but it makes me want to read the next chapter that much more. So hopefully it will have the same affect on all of you, and my apologies to anyone who hates cliffhangers.

Sorry about not updating on thursday, truth is I simply forgot. I'm updating today, because since this thursday is holy thursday I don't know if I'll be able to update so I'm updating today.

Katie


	5. Out Of The Picture

Chapter Five: Out Of The Picture

"CALL 911!" Matt screamed again at Simon. Ruthie pushed herself up out of Matt's arms and tried to crawl away. "Ruthie stay still!"

"No!" Ruthie managed to say something she pulled herself up, leaning hard against the building. "No, I'm fine! It's your fault!" Matt and Simon looked at her confused.

"What? You almost passed out, how is that our fault?" Simon asked.

"It's a panic attack!" Ruthie mumbled trying to walk away, and still trying to catch her breath. "You…you caused it."

"You still need to go to the hospital, Ruthie you can barely walk!" Matt said sternly. Ruthie could feel her anger rising, she could feel the tension in her chest beginning to subside.

"I'd be fine if you left me alone!" Ruthie straightened herself up and walked off in the opposite direction. Still feeling dizzy and out of breath but glad to be rid of her brothers, who were as far as she knew still staring after her.

Ruthie took a week off from work to make sure that Matt wouldn't reappear at her job, and thankfully he didn't. However her phone was constantly ringing off the hook. It didn't seem as though either Simon or Matt had said anything to her parents because she hadn't received any calls from home, if her parents knew they would have phoned immediately; possibly even flown out to New York.

After a week Ruthie returned to work, completely anxiety ridden and strung out. She'd missed being at work, it was the one place she felt calm, like nothing and no one could hurt her. Matt and Simon had managed to take that away from her, but she was hoping Matt would steer clear and just continue harassing her on the phone. She needed this job, for numerous reasons. One of the reasons being her spare cash was dwindling quickly and she hadn't had a fix in two days. The other, the relief that dancing provided her. She'd always loved to dance even as a little kid; although as young child her dancing had always been rather innocent but by fifteen Ruthie was working her body well.

Matt didn't turn up at her job and Simon and he stopped calling after about a week, and still no word from her parents. It wasn't until she returned from Christmas break that things started to go downhill again. Maybe it was being back in class, around teachers, or seeing her semester grades, but she suddenly remembered that her parents would be receiving a copy of her transcript.

"I'm in deep shit!" Ruthie said hysterically as she crashed into her and Megan's dorm room. Megan looked up from her desk where'd she'd been typing away. Megan gave her a half smile and rolled her eyes.

"What now?" Megan asked in a rather bored tone.

"No I'm serious! Megan, we almost failed Statistics if we do badly this semester we'll lose our academic scholarships! My parents are going to get a copy of my transcript! They're going to freak out! Why aren't you worried?" Ruthie screamed getting increasingly hysterical by the calm expression written on Megan's face.

"Because, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not going to fail. I don't even know what happened last semester…just calm down…What are your parents going to do they're three thousand miles away right?" Ruthie looked at Megan in astonishment, how could she be so calm.

Then it hit her, and she felt extremely foolish, Megan wasn't freaking out because she was high. Megan must have seen her grades and already done her mini freak out, come back to the dorm and mellowed out.

Ruthie looked at Megan and sat down on her bed. Ruthie thought about it for a second and then nodded at Megan, who smiling placidly reached into her drawer, she tossed Ruthie a bag and returned to her computer. Ruthie looked at what Megan was writing and tried not to laugh. What Megan thought was an A+ paper was actually her typing the alphabet over an over, and not well at that.

A week passed and still Ruthie received no phone calls from home. Relieved she went about her daily life, which since Christmas had become not only more stressful but also more hectic. Because she'd been forced to miss a week, she was now putting in extra hours at the club to cover her ass, she loved work but when she worked late nights on Friday things got rough. All the extra hours was making her exhausted, so she was falling asleep in class and she was so worried about doing badly. All the stress and anxiety did nothing for her panic attacks, which she was now keeping under control with self-medication. But her habit was pricey, so she really needed those hours at the club. It was one big vicious cycle and Ruthie could sense herself being pulled in, but wasn't sure how far.

"Hello," Ruthie had just entered her dorm from a three hour lecture and hadn't even thought to check the caller ID.

"Ruthie, it's mom." _Shit_. Ruthie sighed, how could she have been so stupid to just pick up.

"Hey mom," Ruthie said sounding as casual as possible, but she could hear the exhaustion in her own voice.

"You okay? You sound tired?" Her mother never missed anything.

"I'm fine? How are you? How's dad?" Ruthie said directing the conversation to any topic but her.

"Oh, I'm fine, he's fine—"

"And Sam and David?" Ruthie asked jumping in.

"They're fine they love school, they have so many friends." Annie paused and listened to her daughter's breathing on the end of the line. "So Ruthie, we got your transcript in the mail the other day." She heard a groan on the other end of the line.

"Look Mom, I'll call you later…" Ruthie said quickly.

"No, Ruthie we need to talk now!" Annie said sternly. There was silence on the other end. "Ruthie?"

"Fine."

"Do you want to explain your grades? Math has always been your best subject, and you told us you were doing fine?"

"I am doing fine," Ruthie lied.

"Well your grades disagree." Annie couldn't believe how lightly Ruthie was taking this.

"Ruthie you could lose your scholarship. How will you pay for college if you lose your scholarship?" Annie paused. "Is there a reason?" She waited for her daughter to talk. "Is the work too hard? Or are you just not trying hard enough?"

"I'm working really hard mom! I'm going to school and going to work and it's not easy!" Ruthie whined, getting semi-hysterical. She hated anything that made her nervous she couldn't handle it anymore. "I have to go!"

"Ruthie—"

"I have work! I don't need you telling me what to do just stay out of it! I can handle it myself!" Ruthie hung up and flung her self into a chair. Tears poured down her cheeks, as an overwhelming amount of emotion forced its way to the front. Emotions she'd been trying to cover up. They all came flooding in and she felt as though she were drowning, both emotionally and physically. Ruthie sobbed into her pillow, until she was completely drained and she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everyone sorry for the delay but I wanted to get this chapter right. A lot happens. I will try to update again within a week. I have to write the next chapter and I want to do it well. I really want this story to be well written. Not that I don't want all of my stories to be well written but so far I'm really proud and I want to keep hitting the bar that I've raised myself up to with this story. Sorry about rambling.

If anyone has any suggestions or comments about what I've written so far I'd love to hear them and I'm willing to take in to consideration any suggestions that are made, unless they're too far from my original plan, then just let me know in a review.

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, and review!


	6. The Trouble With Tyler

Chapter Six: The Trouble With Tyler

Ruthie tossed the needle into the garbage and lay back. She looked over at Tyler who was sucking lazily on a bottle of beer. Ruthie smiled thinking how cute he looked, like a little baby drinking it's bottle. She crawled over to him and laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating loudly against his ribcage, vibrating the tight skin around his chest. Ruthie giggled as the tiny hairs sprinkling his muscular chest tickled her cheek through the vibrating skin.

"It's like an or—orchist—orchest—orchestra…" She giggled. Tyler moved so that Ruthie's head slid down to his stomach he put a hand on her hair and ran his long fingers through it.

"The body is very musical…" Tyler said staring at the ceiling. He paused and then speaking slowly said, "There are so many cracks in the ceiling…I'm surprised it doesn't break." Ruthie sat up and looked at the ceiling her eyes widening. She climbed onto Tyler's lap and wrung her arms around his neck.

"You don't think it will, do you?" She asked nervously.

"I'll protect you baby." Tyler said pulling her face towards him and kissing her gently on the folds of her lips. Ruthie smiled and brought herself closer to him. "I love you baby."

"I love you too…." Ruthie said softly as he pushed her slowly back against the couch.

* * *

Ruthie climbed out of the bed, pulling the sheet with her. Tyler grunted and glared at her as she got out. Ruthie glared back and began looking for her clothes. She found her bra and underwear and put it on. She was looking for her pants when Tyler got up and walked towards her.

"Why are you always angry at me?" He growled. Ruthie sighed angrily and threw the sheet at him. She stood, hands on her hips, in her bra and underwear glaring at him.

"Why does it always have to be about _you_?" Ruthie spat. Tyler caught the sheet and tossed it onto the bed.

"You're the one who's getting all upset!" He said. Ruthie laughed bitterly and returned to looking for her pants. "You never want to be with me! You'd rather be with Megan! What are you a lesbian?"

"Oh shut up! I'm not a lesbian, just cause I don't always want to stay and have sex with you. We just _had_ sex didn't we?" Ruthie kicked the garbage can knocking the contents across the already cluttered floor.

"What the fuck!" Tyler screamed advancing toward her.

"I can't find my clothes! Why is your place such a dump?" Ruthie yelled. Tyler picked up the garbage can and threw it in her direction, Ruthie moved but the can flew right past her. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"You're a fucking whore!" Tyler screamed. He looked around and picked up her jeans and threw them at her. "Just get the fuck out! You wanted to leave so go. There are your fucking jeans!" Ruthie picked up her jeans and began to pull them on clumsily.

"How am I a whore?" Ruthie said slipping on a shirt. She steadied herself and picked up her shirt. "First I won't sleep with you enough…then I'm a lesbian…now I'm a whore…would you make up your mind!"

"Shut up!" Tyler screamed. "You never want to be me with me. You can't wait to leave when you're with me!"

"What are you talking about? —"

"You said, in bed, you had to go. The moment we were done!" Tyler screamed. His face was turning red and the veins in his arms were popping out as he advanced on her.

"That's not true! I lay in bed with you for an hour after we were done…well you were done." Ruthie added nastily. Ruthie pulled her shirt over her head and headed for the door. She stopped and turned around. "Tyler, if I'm such a crappy girlfriend. Then maybe we should just break up. Then you can fuck who ever you want, whenever you want—"

Ruthie was cut short, as Tyler charged at her. Ruthie fell to the floor clutching her face. Tyler towered over her screaming, his face crimson as he shouted incoherently. Ruthie looked up at him, tears flooding her eyes. His bloodshot eyes glared angrily down at her. Ruthie picked herself up and grabbed her coat, the right half of her face stung; she couldn't open her right eye.

"GET THE FUCK OUT! GET OUT!" Tyler screeched. Ruthie wrenched the door open and slammed it as hard as she could. The large metal door flung back and boomed through the hall. She raced down the steps and out into the cold winter frost. Light flutters of snow grazed her cheeks as she raced down the street, eyes streaming. Ruthie reached the train station and got on the first train that came. She hid her face in her hood and avoided eye contact.

Once on the train Ruthie hid off in the corner, she stared at her reflection in the window. Her face was bright red and the skin around her eye was already starting to turn purple, it was already swollen and puffy.

"What have I done?" Ruthie said quietly, gently leaning her forehead against the cool glass.

The train came to a stop and Ruthie got off and walked the couple blocks back to her dorm. She was hoping that Megan might not be there, but no such luck Megan was standing in the middle of the room when Ruthie walked in. Ruthie ran over to her and began crying.

"What happened?" Megan asked stroking Ruthie's hair. Ruthie tried to stop crying long enough to tell her but she couldn't. It seemed like now that she'd started she couldn't stop. Megan pulled Ruthie's head away from her and held her face in her hands. "Who did that to you?" She demanded. Ruthie took a deep breath.

"T-Tyler…" She said quietly. "I don't know what happened…we had sex…then I told him I had to go…he got all angry and started calling me a lesbian and a whore. Then he told me to leave…so I said fine…I'll go but maybe I won't come back. I told him we should break up so he could fuck whoever he wanted…and he punched me…he fucking punched me!" Ruthie sobbed.

"I'll kill him…why'd he call you a lesbian?" Megan asked temporarily distracted.

"He thinks you and I are more then friends. He thinks we spend too much time together so that makes us lesbians…" Ruthie said giving Megan a small smile.

"He's nuts…" Megan said giggling quietly. "Come on let's get you cleaned up…" Megan and Ruthie went into the bathroom to clean Ruthie up.

* * *

"What do you mean I have to go home?" Ruthie said angrily. Mr. Johnson shook his head and looked at her.

"Ruthie you can't go on stage looking like this! For one thing, it'll give the club a bad name and another it's not sexy!" Mr. Johnson turned to walk away.

"How long?" Ruthie screamed at him.

"How ever long it takes for that to go away…But you're not coming here till it's gone, and you're not getting paid if you don't work. Look you're one of my best, which is why you're not gone already but stopping fucking around out there. I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't affect your work. But it is so get your shit together!" Mr. Johnson stalked off leaving Ruthie to pout.

Another week without work, great. Now what was she supposed to do. If she couldn't work, she had no money, if she had no money she couldn't buy anything…

Ruthie left the club and headed for the nearby park, it was dark but the streets were crawling with people. Mostly hookers, drug dealers and bums. Ruthie was looking for one person in particular and knew he'd be in the park. She spotted him after ten minutes of walking around. He was standing under the bridge smoking. She rushed over to him.

"Hey doll face, what can I get you?" Marcus smiled at her; his large brown eyes shined red from the light from his cigarette.

"A bag…" Ruthie said fumbling in her coat.

"Twenty bucks," Marcus said reaching into his own coat. "Nice shiner. What's it doing on a pretty face like yours? Piss off your man?"

"Yeah, Tyler…you remember him?" Ruthie asked pulling out a twenty and exchanging it for a small bag.

"Yeah the big guy you come with, where's your friend?" He asked pocketing the money.

"Working. Which I'm not allowed to do." Ruthie said bitterly.

"Who wants to see a battered girl dance?" Marcus said nastily. Ruthie glared at him but didn't say anything.

"I'll see you later…" She said walking away. Marcus waved slightly and began walking in the opposite direction. Ruthie rushed out of the park, it was not safe at night, she usually went with Tyler or Megan, she never went alone. But Ruthie was desperate, Tyler and her had used up her stash and she needed a fix after the night she'd had.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey Everybody! I'm actually on time with this update. I want to thank everyone for the reviews, I'm really glad people like this story because I love this idea and I had so much trouble holding off on writing it, I have tendancy of starting too many projects at once so then I get distracted and fall behind and then forget about stuff like I'm doing write now.

In response to some of the reviews I got I just wanted to say that there will be more Matt and Simon in future chapters, a lot more, they are like main characters besides obviously Ruthie and Megan. In fact Matt makes an appearance in the next chapter. Also, I know it may seem like Matt and Simon didn't do much. But they were really angry, but their isn't much they could do and it all happened really fast, but it's not the last you'll hear about it.

So, I'll try to update again real soon for now enjoy the chapter!

Katie

P.S. I'm going to see RENT on broadway tomorrow!! YAY!!


	7. I Promise, Sorta Kinda

Chapter Seven: I Promise, Sorta Kinda

Ruthie looked at the clock one more time hoping that maybe she'd read the time wrong, but it still said 2:30pm, which meant she had to get to class. She only had one class that day but she'd much rather have spent all day in bed. Seeing as she couldn't go to work, there was nothing for her to look forward to after classes. But she was already doing poorly she really couldn't afford to miss another class. So she pulled herself up and began to change.

As she was pulling on her jeans the phone rang, Ruthie always screened her calls, she waited for the answering machine to pick up. After five or six rings the answering machine picked up and Tyler's voice rang through the room.

"Ruthie it's Tyler!" He said loudly. "Can you hear me? Ruthie?" Ruthie rolled her eyes and continued pulling on her jeans. The purple bruise around her eye kept her from picking up the phone.

"Please Ruthie! I know you're there! I'm sorry! I didn't mean—it was a mistake! I care about you! Please! I need you…" Tyler sounded somewhat hysterical Ruthie knew he was high and that made her even angrier.

"I'm sorry! Give me another chance! Just pick up the phone! Please!" She grabbed her jacket and bag and left She could still hear Tyler begging as she closed the door.

* * *

"Ms. Camden, may I speak to you?" Ruthie stopped and turned around. Her professor was standing at the front of the room looking at her. She grabbed her stuff and headed to front of the room. Everyone else left quickly and quietly, whispering as they past. Ruthie couldn't help but glared, she hated her classmates, they were all stuck up…

"What do you need to talk to me about?" Ruthie asked politely. Her professor handed her, her essay. Ruthie looked down at and groaned. There was a large red F circled on the front.

"Ms. Camden, at the moment you are failing my class." Professor Birden said sternly. "I believe you're on a scholarship, is that correct?"

"Yeah…well I won't be when they hear about this…" Ruthie sighed.

"I'll give you a chance to make it up, I want you to write a ten page paper on a modern play, of your choice. Hand it in to me by Friday it will boost your grade and make up for this assignment." Professor Birden said smiling. Ruthie looked up at her shocked.

"Really? Why would you do that—I mean thanks! But why?" Ruthie couldn't believe her Professor was being so nice.

"Because I like you and you did very well at the beginning of the year and then you just stopped…did something happen?"

"Uh…" Ruthie fumbled with her bag, stuffing the paper in

"By the way, how did you get that black eye?" Professor Birden asked.

"Um…it's nothing…" Ruthie said quietly.

"Ruthie if someone's hurting you—"

"No…I—I just fell. Clumsy me…and I just…just…been stressed. I kept having panic attacks and it was really bad. Every time I get stressed I start freaking out and hyperventilating…" Ruthie said tearing up.

"It's hard being in a new city, in a new setting. But remember not all the Professors will be as nice. If you need to talk I'm always here." Ruthie smiled tearfully and waved goodbye. The minute she was gone she wiped the tears away and sighed with relief. She knew there was a reason she was a drama major.

She felt bad for manipulating Professor Birden but she'd only done it after, she'd already let Ruthie off the hook. It was all true, she hadn't lied she just hadn't told the whole truth.

Ruthie left the building and took out her phone; she had five missed calls from Tyler and to her surprise one from Matt, and none of these calls she planned on returning. The only person she wanted to talk to was probably getting ready for work, which she was still not allowed to do due to the giant bruise on her eye.

"Ruthie!" Ruthie stopped dead in her tracks and prayed that voice had just been in her head. "Ruthie, hold on!" Nope. It was real. Ruthie groaned and slowly turned around to see her older brother Matt walking toward her, she saw him speed up the moment he got a good look at her.

"Hey Matt, don't even!" She said quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk—"

"No we don't." Ruthie said cutting him off.

"Well I came here to talk to you about your job, seeing as you won't answer my calls or Simon's calls. Also Simon threatened to fly back out if I didn't. But first—"

"Matt it's not a big deal. Really its not." Ruthie said checking over her shoulder. Matt took her gently by the arm and led her over to a bench.

"Ruthie it is a big deal. It's dangerous, you could get hurt…how'd you get that black eye anyway?" Matt looked Ruthie in the eye, but she looked away.

"It's not important, and I didn't get it at work. I can take care of myself Matt; I'm not a little girl anymore. If I want to work there I can. It pays good and I like to dance." Ruthie adjusted her bag, she wanted to leave she didn't want to hang around school and if Tyler came and saw her talking with Matt he'd get angry. She loved Tyler; she just needed a break to forgive him for what he did.

"There are other jobs, I can get you a job at the hospital, as an orderly—"

"I don't want to be an orderly." Ruthie sighed, she ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath. The wind raced across her face sending shivers down her spine; it was much colder during the winter in New York then in Glenoak and Ruthie hadn't completely gotten used to it. "Alright, I'll try and find another job…I'm not making any promises. But you have to promise not to tell mom or dad. Simon too."

"I haven't told them yet have I?" Matt said.

"No, and I want to know that you wont. Okay?" Ruthie said glaring at him.

"Alright…I'll talk to Simon. But you promise to look for another job?" Matt asked. Ruthie nodded.

"And I want to see you more often." Matt added sternly.

"Matt, I'm busy!" Ruthie groaned.

"Ruthie!" He warned.

"Fine." She sighed.

"I'll call you in a couple days…are you feeling okay?" Matt looked her up and down frowning slightly. She looked so thin. Ruthie had never been fat but she'd never been as thin as this. She looked sick. "Are you eating all right? I know it's hard sometimes when you're stressed—"

"I'm fine. I'm stressed yeah, but I'm in college. Look I have a paper I need to write. I need to go." Ruthie said looking around again. People were staring at her; this was why she didn't hang around school. Matt nodded looking at her sadly.

"Okay. Be careful. I'd still like to know what happened to your eye…" He pushed hoping she'd tell him, but he knew Ruthie and he knew she wouldn't give in that easily she never did.

"Matt! I just fell, I'm clumsy—"

"Since when?" Matt interjected. Ruthie had never been clumsy; you can't be sneaky if you're falling all over the place.

"Since…since I've been all stressed out. Now I have to _go_!" She said angrily. "I'll see you later." Ruthie got up and slung her bag over her shoulder. Matt got up and hugged her; he hated how tiny she felt in his arms; how fragile she felt.

"I love you." Matt said.

"Love you too…" Ruthie pulled away and walked off.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everybody! I actually updated on time YAY! Lol! I hope everyone likes this chapter I really liked the conversation between Matt and Ruthie and I took into consideration some of the reviews I got and tried to show that Matt isn't going to just let her completely off the hook. I didn't like the conversation between Ruthie and her teacher as much though, I thought I would but I didn't.

So tell me what you guys think and let me know. I'll try to update soon.

Katie


	8. Will You Be My Valentine?

Chapter Eight: Will You Be My Valentine?

"You turned in your creative writing assignment or whatever it was?" Megan asked as she applied her lipgloss. Ruthie smiled happily.

"Yes. And I think it was really good. Of course it was all I worked on all week so I now owe a whole lot of other work…but whatever." She said shrugging. Megan laughed and rolled her eyes. Ruthie stuck out her tongue playfully.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?" Megan asked. "We can hang out if you have nothing else planned.

"I don't…is tomorrow special?" Ruthie asked rolling here eyes back at Megan. She picked up her lipstick and began applying it.

"You do know tomorrow is Valentines Day right?" Megan asked pulling up her stockings. Ruthie dropped her lipstick and turned to look at Megan.

"What?" Ruthie said.

"Tomorrow…Valentines Day. Don't tell me you forgot?" Megan looked at her shocked.

"Shit! Yeah I forgot! Oh man…" Ruthie buried her head in her hands.

"Ten minutes. Ruthie, fix your make-up!" Mr. Johnson said sternly before walking behind the curtains and disappearing. Ruthie stuck her tongue out in his direction but fixed her make-up.

"I only brought it up because I wanted to know if you and Tyler…well, what was going on between you too. But why is it such a big deal?" Megan asked. She pulled out a ponytail and started fixing her hair.

"Tomorrow is my brothers' birthday. They'll be nine." Ruthie sighed. "I have to call them, but I didn't send them a gift, I completely forgot. They're going to be so upset."

"Just tell them it's on its way and then get them something really cool." Megan said shrugging her shoulders. "So…"

"So…what?" Ruthie asked. She placed a heart shaped clip in her hair and then another one.

"You and Tyler?" Megan asked again.

"Nothing. Me and Tyler…we're through…I guess…" Ruthie looked down at the floor. She didn't want it to be through but she didn't know what else to do.

"That's a lie. I'm not saying get back with the asshole, just that I know you and I know you don't want it to be over." Megan said simply, brushing her cheeks with powder.

"Girls lets go you're on!" Mr. Johnson yelled. Ruthie rolled her eyes and got up.

"We'll talk later." She said grabbing her jacket.

"You bet we will." Megan said. The two walked out on to the stage without another word.

* * *

"I'm so tired!" Ruthie whined rubbing her feet. She looked at the clock it was two in the morning they'd been dancing on and off for six hours. "Let's get out of here. We might be able to catch Marcus, if you want. I have no money…" Ruthie said angrily. She'd been on edge lately because she was running low and couldn't get high as often, which made her even tenser.

"I'll buy." Megan said happily.

"No it's okay." Ruthie said pulling on her coat. She wasn't going to even bother changing.

"No, It's fine. It's better then dealing with a really grumpy girl." Megan teased. Ruthie rolled her eyes but smiled defeatedly.

"Alright, let's get out of here." Ruthie grabbed her bag and walked arm in arm out past the curtains, through the crowds of men, and out into the frosty early morning air. "It's cold…" Ruthie said huddling closer to Megan. Megan smiled and nodded.

"It's freezing. Let's hurry and get to the park." She said.

"Hey!" Ruthie stopped and looked at Megan. Megan turned around and glared at the oncoming figure.

"Get out of here! She doesn't want to talk to you!"

"Shut up Megan!" Tyler spat. "Happy Valentines Day Ruthie…" Tyler said walking towards her slowly.

"Tyler get out of here!" Megan yelled. Ruthie help up a hand and glared at Tyler.

"What do you want?" Ruthie asked.

"Just to talk. Just… please, give me a chance?" Tyler begged.

"You have five minutes…just wait inside…" Ruthie said quietly to Megan.

"I'll wait over there…" Megan said stubbornly walking over to the entrance glaring at Tyler.

"Ruthie I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I was high, I didn't know what I was doing!" Tyler pleaded. Ruthie looked bitterly at me.

"It cost me a week of work!" She said angrily.

"I'll pay for your stuff all week. Just please take me back. I didn't mean what I said. Your not a whore, or a lesbian…" He added looking at Megan who glared at him. "I'm just so afraid of losing you. I've never had a girlfriend as smart and pretty as you are. I love you so much. Please, forgive me?"

Ruthie looked uncertainly at him. She wanted to forgive him but she wasn't sure if she should. The smarter part of her brain was telling her to say no and walk away, but that was the part of her brain she shut off every time she got high. Tyler got on his knees and took her hands in his.

"Please Ruthie! Please forgive me!" He begged. Ruthie couldn't help but smile.

"Alright, I forgive you—" Tyler got up and picked her up spinning her around. "Okay! Okay! Put me down!" Ruthie giggled.

"I love you Ruthie Camden!" Tyler said kissing her.

"I love you too, Tyler Montoya. Now, let's go find Marcus—and your buying!" She said grabbing Megan's arm and walking ahead of him nose in air. Tyler sped after her and wrapped his arm around her waist. He picked her up and carried her piggyback. Megan just smiled and rushed after the two of them.

"Wait up!" She called. The three of them made their way down into the park, Ruthie was now back on her feet and walking alongside Tyler and Megan. The park was even colder then the street, maybe it was just because it was so creepy but Ruthie was definitely colder.

"Where is he?" Ruthie asked pulling her coat closer around her. Tyler wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"There he is!" Tyler dropped his arm and hurried over to Marcus. Marcus was standing by a bench whispering to another guy. He pulled something out of his coat and slipped it into the other guy's pocket. Tyler slapped Marcus lightly on the back and whispered something Ruthie couldn't hear.

"Hello ladies," Marcus said with a smile on his face. Marcus was tall, around 6 feet, and he was well built which made him even more intimidating. But it was his shoulder length greasy black hair, dark eyes, and gaunt face that scared Ruthie the most. Not to mention his deep and somewhat creepy voice.

"Hey," Ruthie said warily. Marcus flashed her a greasy smile and then looked Megan up and down.

"Eyes up here," Megan said simply snapping her fingers at him.

"You need to get a man to keep you in line girl." Marcus snapped at Megan.

"Do you want our business or not?" Megan glared. This was what Ruthie loved about Megan. Megan was exactly like how Ruthie used to be, and being around Megan made Ruthie feel like there was hope she could be that way again.

"What can I get for you?" He said glaring at her.

"The usual…" Megan said only barely leaving out the Duh. Ruthie pulled on Megan's sleeve and gave her a warning look. Megan nodded and rolled her eyes. Tyler slipped Marcus the money and Marcus smiled and slipped the stuff into Tyler's coat.

"Thanks," Tyler said. He pulled Marcus aside. Ruthie eyed Tyler carefully.

"What are they talking about?" Ruthie whispered to Megan. Megan shrugged but narrowed her eyes too.

"I'm not sure…but it's probably nothing good. Fuck I'm cold." Megan said. "Come on lets go!" She yelled at Tyler.

"Yo, I'm coming! Chill the fuck out!" Tyler screamed back. Ruthie gave him a look. "I'll talk to you later." He whispered to Marcus.

"Tyler I'm cold!" Ruthie said. Tyler jogged back over to them.

"Alright let's go…" He wrapped his arm around Ruthie and the three headed out of the park.

"What was that about?" Ruthie asked, looking up at Tyler. Tyler scratched his nose and shrugged.

"Nothing…" Ruthie sighed defeatedly and let the issue drop.

* * *

Ruthie paced her room, working up enough courage to pick up the phone and call home. It was six o'clock so the boys would be home, but so would everyone else. She knew calling home to say Happy Birthday to her brother's shouldn't be a big deal…but it was. If she got roped into a conversation with one of her parents it could end badly.

Finally, after pacing the room for almost ten minutes, she picked up the phone and dialed. She listened to the phone ring and could feel her heart pounding against her chest. She hoped one of the twins would pick up, but she doubted she'd be that lucky.

"Happy Birthday!" Everyone cried as Sam and David blew out the candles. It was a small party as usual, most people had Valentine's Day plans on Valentines Day, and they'd had a party at school the day before. Annie squeezed in between Sam and David to cut the cake. The phone rang.

"I'll get it." Lucy smiled walking out of the dining room and into the kitchen. She grabbed the phone. "Hello" Lucy said happily. Ruthie sighed; it was better then one of her parents.

"Hey Luce, Can I talk to Sam and David?" Ruthie asked. Lucy's face lit up.

"Ruthie it's great to hear from you. How are you? I haven't talked to you in forever!" Lucy cried happily.

"I'm fine." She said. "How are you, Kevin, Savannah and Jacob?" Ruthie asked politely.

"Oh we're great. It's so nice to hear your voice; you definitely need to call more often. I'll get Sam and David. Mom's cutting the cake now." Lucy walked into the dining room.

"Who is it?" Annie asked.

"Ruthie, I think she called to wish you guys a happy birthday." Lucy smiled.

"Ruthie!" Sam and David cried in unison. They maneuvered their way through the chairs and people careful not to knock Savannah, who was toddling around. Lucy handed them the phone and smiled.

"Hi Ruthie!" Sam said happily as he and David went into the kitchen to talk. Annie looked nervously at Eric. They'd been trying to get in touch with Ruthie for a while now, ever since her grades had come home. They were really worried about her.

"Hey Sam." Ruthie smiled. "Happy Birthday. How are you?"

"I'm fine. How's New York?" Sam asked. David pushed his ear closer.

"It's good." Ruthie said.

"Hi Ruthie!" David said.

"Hey David. Happy Birthday. Can you both hear me?" Ruthie asked.

"Yeah." They said together.

"Good. Listen, my birthday present for you guys is on its way. Sorry it's going to be late." Ruthie said.

"It's okay." David said.

"Yeah, it's okay." Sam repeated.

"What did you get us?" David asked.

"If I tell you it won't be a surprise will it?" Ruthie smiled.

"Aw. Okay." Sam and David sighed. Annie and Eric walked in, Sam and David looked up and smiled at them.

"We want to talk to her." Annie whispered. David nodded.

"Mom wants to talk to you." David said.

"Oh, well—"

"We love you Ruthie!" They said together.

"I love you too. I got to—" But Sam had already handed the phone to Annie.

"Ruthie?" Annie said. Ruthie stomped her foot and sighed in frustration.

"Hi mom." She said sweetly. Annie handed the phone to Eric.

"Hey Sweetheart." Eric said.

"Hi Dad." Ruthie said in the same sugary voice. She hit herself in the head. "Look I really need to get to work. I just called to wish them a happy birthday—"

"We won't talk long." Eric assured her. "Listen, we'd really love it if you came home for Spring break, you could celebrate your birthday at home with us. It'd mean a lot to me." Eric added pathetically. Ruthie groaned quietly and shook her head.

"Well, I have so much—"

"Please Ruthie at least think about it. Matt is already planning to come out that week with the boys and Sarah. Mary and Carlos said they'd try to come out too. It would be nice to have the whole family together again." Eric looked at Annie hopefully she had her fingers crossed.

"Okay." Ruthie sighed defeatedly. "I'll think about it. I got to go though. I love you."

"I love you too, I'll talk to you later." Ruthie hung up. Eric looked at Annie and smiled. "She said she'd think about it. That's a start right?"

"It is. I don't know what is going on with her, but something is definitely going on…" Annie said.

"You think she knows about Martin and Sandy?" Eric asked tapping the phone on the table.

"Maybe Simon might have told her when he was out there…but I have feeling there's more. I mean her grades slipped long before she could have found out about Martin and Sandy. Well, it will be easier to interrogate her when she isn't three thousand miles away." Annie said smiling at Eric.

"Come on. We have a birthday party to get back to." Eric said kissing Annie. Annie smiled and led the way back into the dining room.

"Can we have our cake now?" David asked. Annie smiled and nodded.

Ruthie plopped down on to her bed and sighed; she could not believe she had just agreed to that. There would definitely be no backing out of it now. Ruthie groaned and threw her pillow over her face. How would she survive a whole week locked up with her parents? What if she saw Sandy? Or Martin? Or the two of them together? She was not looking forward to that week. Maybe she could get out of it…

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everybody. I am very happy because this chapter is nice and long yay! I really wanted to give everybody a glimpse of what Marcus was like and I thought it was important to have The Twins Birthday happen in this chapter so that's why I didn't split it up.

Everyone has been asking about when other characters will be involved and they will just not yet. They will com in later. But you will be seeing more of Matt, he'll be in the next chapter. I like Matt and I love the brother sister relationship Ruthie has with both him and Simon. And if I do say so myself I think I did a very good job with Sam and David's characters! : )

I'll update again soon, but for now enjoy!


	9. Under The Weather

Chapter Nine: Under The Weather

"Ruthie where are you? We were supposed to meet to have lunch an hour ago?" Matt asked. Ruthie had agreed to go to lunch with him occasionally as part of the deal that he wouldn't tell their parents about her job.

"I can't I'm sick!" Ruthie coughed.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked sounding concerned.

"I'll be fine…I just can't have lunch with you today." Ruthie rolled over facing Megan who was getting dressed for class. Ruthie rolled her eyes and Megan smiled. "Matt I'll call you later. Bye." Ruthie hung up and looked at Megan. Megan was sitting at her desk with a needle to her arm. "Is it a good idea to do that before class?" Ruthie asked meekly.

"Look don't lecture me!" Megan snapped. She put the empty needle down and got up. She turned and looked at Ruthie who looked hurt. "I'm sorry…It's a short class…I gotta go!" Megan tied up her hair and left. Ruthie folded her arms and pouted.

"I hate being sick!" She whined. Ruthie rolled over and drifted off to sleep.

Ruthie was startled by a loud bang on the door. She jerked up and looked around, her room was empty and the light from outside was slowly disappearing. She lay back down and their was another knock on the door.

"Ruthie open up, it's Matt." Ruthie looked around in a daze.

"Matt?" She called.

"Ruthie? Open up!" Matt yelled.

"Okay…okay…hold on." Ruthie rolled out of bed and stumbled across the room. She tossed some stuff in the trash and picked up some clothes before opening the door. Matt stepped in and looked at her. Her hair was a mess and her face was riddled with sweat.

"You really don't look good. Can I take you to the hospital?" Matt said taking her arm and gently leading her over to her bed.

"No…no…its okay. I'll be fine." Ruthie said lying back. She put an hand to her forehead and closed her eyes.

"Are you sure? You should see a doctor." Matt said. Ruthie opened her eyes halfway and gave him a half smile.

"I am seeing a doctor." She giggled softly.

"Very funny." Matt smiled. He looked around the room. "Where's your roommate?" he asked.

"Class. Or she was…I think she might have gone to work…" Ruthie looked nervously up at Matt.

"So have you found a new job?" Matt asked.

"Matt!" Ruthie whined. "I don't want another job!"

"Ruthie you promised." Matt said sternly.

"Fine I'll look for another job!" She sighed. Ruthie closed her eyes again. "I'm tired, I need to rest—"

"What is that?" Matt asked getting up and heading for Megan's desk. Ruthie looked and saw the needle. She quickly rolled off the bed.

"Ow." She said as she hit the floor. Matt turned around and helped her up.

"Are you okay?" Matt asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. You need to go though." Ruthie pushed him out the door. "I'm really tired."

"But what was—"

"Bye." Ruthie said as she got him through the door. "I'll call if I need anything." She closed the door and locked it. "Phew." She whispered. Matt stood on the other side thinking about what he'd just seen. There was no way it was what he thought it was…was it?

Ruthie headed back to her bed and plopped back down, she couldn't believe Megan had just left it lying there how could she have been so stupid. Ruthie sighed; she should have been more thorough when she checked the room before letting Matt in. It wasn't Megan's fault, and besides she really didn't want to fight with Megan.

Ruthie jerked up, she hadn't realized she'd drifted off but something in her bed was vibrating. She moved her hand around searching for it and she finally found her phone. Absentmindedly she flipped it open.

"Hello?" She answered groggily.

"Ruthie? It's mom." Annie said cheerfully. "I wanted to catch you hopefully before you went to work."

"What time is it?" Ruthie said looking around, her room was now pitch-black and Megan was still not home.

"It's eight. I wasn't sure what time you went to work. I know you have late shifts. Are you okay?" Annie asked sounding worried.

"Yeah. I'm not feeling great." Ruthie said lying her head back down.

"Oh…Matt didn't mention that when he called." Annie said.

"What?" Ruthie said sharply.

"Matt called and said he talked to you and that you said you decided to fly home for spring break with him and Sarah." Ruthie narrowed her eyes and stared at the door.

"Oh I can't believe…I mean yeah I guess I am." Ruthie said. Annie hesitated looking at the phone momentarily.

"Ok. Well, I'm glad. We'll see you then." Annie said. "Bye.

"Bye." Ruthie hung up. "I can't believe him!" Ruthie growled. There was no way out now. In two months she'd be going home.

* * *

Authors Note: At first this chapter was just going to be a filler but then I decided I could use it to advance the plot so I snuck in some hints into the future hee hee hee! Anyway I hope everyone liked this chapter now I am off to try to figure out what comes next. There is still two months before Ruthie heads home so we'll see what happens.

I will try to have the next chapter up soon, its so hard to stick on schedule and focus cause I have so many ideas but I know that if I start too many that I won't finish any...which is why I'm sticking with 8 stories I 'm working on now. Sorry for rambling I do that a lot.

Katie


	10. Hypocrite

Chapter Ten: Hypocrite

Ruthie stared dully at her computer screen racking her brain for a thesis to the stupid essay she had to write about how Capitalism and Social norms shaped the youth of tomorrow or something like that. She typed out a sentence but deleted it; she was about to type something else when a message popped up on her screen. She opened the message and read it; to her surprise it was from Mac.

BallaBoy18: Hey Ruthie its Mac. I got your screen name from Martin

NotAnotherCamden: Hi Mac. I didn't know Martin had my screen name I haven't spoken to him since I left Glenoak and I made this at school.

BallaBoy18: He said you IMed him earlier in the year.

Ruthie looked at the computer trying to remember, after a second she remembered what Mac was talking about. It happened not long after she had started using. Megan and her had come home late from work extremely high and had gotten to talking about previous boyfriends when they got to Martin, even though they hadn't dated, Megan insisted that Ruthie IM him so Ruthie made up a screen name and IMed Martin.

NotAnotherCamden: Oh yeah. So…BallaBoy? Lol and since when are u 18

BallaBoy18: Yeah well—Not Another Camden? What does that mean?

NotAnotherCamden: Well I'm not Very Camden-ish.

BallaBoy18: What do you men?

NotAnotherCamden: NVM.

BallaBoy18: Ok…So I heard ur going to b in Glenoak over spring break?

NotAnotherCamden: Yeah Matt roped me into it. Cuz I'd really rather spend my spring break in Glenoak when I live in NYC. Right.

BallaBoy18: C'mon u no u miss Glenoak. Lol

NotAnotherCamden: um…no not really. So u and Margaret?

BallaBoy18: Broke-up. Long distance never works out.

NotAnotherCamden: Sorry. What about Jane? What's she doing?

BallaBoy18: She's around.

NotAnotherCamden: T-Bone?

BallaBoy18: Around.

NotAnotherCamden: They're _together?_

BallaBoy18: I didn't say that. I didn't even type that!

NotAnotherCamden: U didn't have to. I don't care it's just weird. And I know about Martin and Sandy. Which I'm assuming is why you IMed me to find out what I knew so u could report back to Martin so he would know whether or not to avoid me. Am I right?

BallaBoy18: No! I IMed you because I saw u were online and I wanted to say Hi—and alright to see if you knew about Martin and Sandy but not so Martin could avoid u he wanted to tell you himself but looks like someone beat him to it.

NotAnotherCamden: Simon. And if he wanted to tell me he could have picked up a phone and called me. So you think they're going to last?

BallaBoy18: I don't know.

NotAnotherCamden: I have to go. Nice talking to you.

BallaBoy18: Ok. TTYL Ruthie.

NotAnotherCamden: Bye.

Ruthie closed the IM and signed off of AIM, she didn't want anybody else IMing her who knows how many people Martin gave her screen name to. Although he probably only gave it to Mac. Ruthie closed her laptop and sighed she couldn't work on her essay now she'd just have to work all day tomorrow since she didn't have any classes. Ruthie got up and paced her room, it was dark outside and she'd have to leave for work soon; it was strange that Megan was back yet her class ended a couple hours ago. The dorm room opened and Megan stumbled in; Ruthie walked over to her and led her to her bed.

"Megan where have you been we have to leave soon." Ruthie said trying to get her to look at her.

"I was out with Marcus!" Megan giggled. Ruthie grabbed Megan's wrist and made her look at her.

"What? Why were you with Marcus?" Ruthie shouted.

"Because he's so nice Ruthie! He really cares about me." Megan said calmly. Ruthie shook her head and try to calm down.

"No Megan, he doesn't! He's a drug dealer."

"HA!" Megan spat. Ruthie looked at her confused.

"Ha, what?" Ruthie said.

"I knew it! You're so judgmental!" Megan said getting slightly hysterical. Ruthie looked puzzled and was bordering on angry.

"I'm not being Judgmental, it's a fact! He's a drugdealer! That's what he does. He's dangerous. You're just his client he doesn't care about what happens to you!" Ruthie said trying her best not to scream. Megan jumped up and stumbled across the room to her dresser she began pulling out clothes and throwing them across the room. "What are you doing?"

"_I_ am getting ready for work. And I can go by myself I don't want to be associated with a _hypocrite_." Megan spat. She began to strip slowly until she was down to her underwear. Ruthie looked at her hurt.

"I'm not a hypocrite!" Ruthie said calmly. "I'm worried about you—"

"Well you don't need to be! You think that you're all high and might cause or whatever but you're not the same girl you were when you left Cali!" Megan spat. Megan returned to getting dressed letting the words sink in.

"I can't believe you're saying stuff like this!" Ruthie shouted.

"Well you are! You can't judge me when you're exactly like me—"

"I'm not judging you!" Ruthie screamed. "Megan—"

"No!" Megan screamed. "Just don't talk to me!" Megan grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the dorm room leaving Ruthie alone. Ruthie sat back on her bed and looked at the clock they weren't due at the club for another two hours, Ruthie wondered where Megan was going.

Ruthie got up and grabbed a bag she began stuffing clothes into it rapidly tears sprang to her eyes but vanished from the heat of her face, she couldn't tell if she was hurt or really pissed, but she knew she wasn't staying with Megan tonight.

* * *

Authors Note: Okay Ihave now created a complete outline for this story for every single chapter to come so as long as I write them in time I should update regularly YAY! Lol. Okay I really liked the conversation between Mac and Ruthie I threw it in there last minute but I think it really works and it brings you out of the whole situation with Ruthie and shows that there is still the old Ruthie there somewhere.

The fight between Megan and Ruthie could have gone better if there any suggestions please let me know I wanted it to be really intense and painful but I don't know if it was good enough. Okay, I'll update again soon.

Katie


	11. Fired

Chapter Eleven: Fired

Ruthie looked around the dingy apartment and sighed she really missed her dorm room, she really missed Megan. It had been a week since Ruthie had moved in with Tyler and she hated it; Tyler was filthy and expected her to sleep with him all the time. Ruthie was neither dirty or a sex slave and all she could think about was Megan.

"Hey," Tyler said as he came out of the bedroom, he was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and that's it. Ruthie gave him a half smile and kicked some of the clothes at her feet off to the side.

"How do you live like this?" Ruthie asked. She heard Tyler groan and she decided to drop it. She took a seat on the couch and pulled out her cell phone. It was almost five she had to get to class. She opened up a text.

I'm sorry. Forgive me?

"What are you doing?" Tyler asked sitting down next to her with a cup of coffee in his hand. As he sat the coffee spilled over, Ruthie got up to avoid it as she did she pressed send and put her phone away.

"I've got class. After class I have work so I'll be home late." Ruthie said grabbing bag and throwing it over her shoulder.

"Of course…what else is new?" Tyler mumbled. Ruthie glared at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She said.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Tyler what is your problem?" Ruthie asked dropping her bag in anger. Tyler looked up from his coffee and rolled his eyes.

"You I guess." He said. Ruthie held back from screaming, but couldn't.

"What the hell does that mean?" She screamed advancing towards him.

"You're never around!" He said angrily.

"I've been living with you Tyler! How am I never around?" She asked sounding frustrated.

"You're always at work!" He said in a hostile tone. Ruthie glared at him. Tyler retreated back into his coffee. Ruthie had the sudden urge to throw it in his face.

"I'm sorry I have a job and school and a life! I'm sorry the world doesn't revolve around you!" She screamed.

"I have a job and school is making you miserable so it is that great?" He yelled back.

"What job?" She said momentarily suspending the fight.

"None of your business." He said.

"Whatever. School isn't what's making me miserable!" Which was a lie. "It's you!" Not completely a lie, he _was_ making her miserable.

"Fine then leave!" He screamed. "Leave me!"

"I don't want to I love you!" She screamed. The room fell silent as Tyler sat staring at the floor. Ruthie grabbed her bag and pull herself back together. "I have to go."

"Whatever…" He mumbled.

"Whatever, your self.." Ruthie left slamming the door behind her. She was so tired of Tyler and his attitude. She was so tired of Tyler; she loved him but maybe wasn't enough. Well her thoughts on Tyler would have to wait she had a Biology lecture to get to.

* * *

Ruthie pulled off her jeans and T-shirt and pulled out her work clothes, a black mini skirt and a black tie on top. Once she was done putting those on she pulled her hair back in a loose ponytail and began putting on lipstick. Mr. Johnson walked over to her.

"Oh hey," Ruthie said putting down her lipstick. "Do you know if Megan's here yet?"

"Yeah she's on stage. You two fighting?" He asked sternly.

"We'll work it out. But, yeah, I have to go home for spring break so I won't be here." Ruthie said quickly.

"What? What do you mean you _have_ to?" He spat.

"I mean I have to. My parents are making me." Ruthie said looking confused.

"Fine. You're fired." Mr. Johnson turned and walked away leaving Ruthie standing there stunned.

"Fired?" Ruthie gasped. "Mr. Johnson wait!" Ruthie hurried out after him. Out past the curtains and into the crowds of people. "Wait!" He turned sharply to look at her.

"Go home Ruthie." He said.

"But this isn't fair. I can't help that I have to go home. You can't fire me—"

"I can and I just did. I told you to keep your personal life from affecting your job and you can't seem to do that." Mr. Johnson said simply. "Now just go home."

"I have to go home. My parent's are making me! It's not my fault!" Ruthie said trying not to cry.

"You're right you do have to go home. Now go." With that he turned and disappeared into the crowd. Ruthie turned to head back to the dressing room and caught eyes with Megan. Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched her on the stage. Megan stopped and looked down at Ruthie but before she could move Ruthie was gone. Ruthie headed back to the dressing room.

"Ruthie did he really fire you?" Amelia asked the moment she passed through the curtains. Ruthie ignored her and made her way to her bag.

"I can't believe it. Well Megan'll talk to him for you." Jennie said sweetly. Ruthie grabbed her bag and turned right around and left she didn't even stick around to change. She rushed back through the crowds of people and out into the cool night air. She raced over to the bus stop and slid to the floor, hot tears streaming down her face. She pulled her skirt as far down as she could to cover up. She was cold, and alone and tired of the life she was living. And yet, she pulled herself up and went to find Marcus; to find an escape.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everybody sorry for the delay in my update I had my exhibtion presentation on thrusday it was a requirement for graduation and its over I passed! Whoo hoo!! yay! lol. Anyway this chapter was going to be longer but I didn't like all the jumps in setting so I decided to split it up into two. Now I have a couple of questions to answer:

1. I'm not sure if this will be a Marthie or not but Martin will come in to the scene later once she goes home however this story is going to be split in two and there will be a sequel so if it I do make it a Marthie that will probably not happen until the sequel.

2. Yes there will be other characters besides Ruthie, Tyler and Megan. Once Ruthie goes home the whole camden clan will be there.

3. There will probably around twenty six chapters in this one.

If there are any other questions that won't give away plot then let me know. I will update soon and hopefully on time.

Katie


	12. Falling to Pieces

Chapter Twelve: Falling To Pieces

"Tyler?" Ruthie called as she entered the loft. She slammed the door behind her and kicked her way through the pile of garbage. "TYLER!" Ruthie cried. Tyler stumbled out of the bedroom and made his way towards her. Ruthie sank into the couch beside him.

"What's wrong baby?" Tyler asked softly. Ruthie ignored his question and lay her head on his chest. "Well I'm here so everything...is going...to...be..." Tyler trailed off.

"No, it's not!" Ruthie said pulling away from him, as she pulled away she felt the room spin below her. She could feel herself being pulled away from the ground. "I'm losing everything!" She said grabbing on to the couch tightly. Tyler stared blankly at her. Ruthie looked at him but no matter how hard she looked she couldn't see him.

"You've got me!" Tyler said moving closer.

"No!" Ruthie jumped up and fell to the floor. She back away slowly holding onto the floor. "No! Get away from me!"

"Ruthie! Calm down it's me?" Tyler said. Ruthie shook her head tears running down her cheeks.

"No!" She sobbed. It was as if she had fallen into a black hole and it was sucking up all of her hopes, swallowing everything she loved. A knock on the door pulled her back to reality.

"I got it." Tyler said stumbling toward the door. "Megan?"

"Megan?"Ruthie sobbed. Megan pushed past Tyler and ran over to Ruthie. "Megan! I'm sorry I'm so sorry! Forgive me please!" Ruthie begged.

"Shh. Stop it. It's okay." Megan said pulling Ruthie close to her. "I'm not mad sweetie."

"Megan, help please!" Ruthie cried.

"I know." Megan pulled Ruthie to her feet. " We're going back to our dorm."

"What about me?" Tyler said angrily. Megan looked at him and rolled her eyes. For once she was the only one sober.

"You? You can stay here! Okay? Good. Have fun!" Megan dragged Ruthie out of the loft and headed back to their dorm.

* * *

Ten hours later Megan and Ruthie were back at their dorm room and Ruthie was completely sober; but still a complete wreck. Ruthie sat up and leaned back against the wall, she looked over at Megan who was cleaning up the dorm room.

"I can't believe I fell apart like that..." Ruthie said burying her head in her lap.

"It's okay. It was about time." Megan said smiling. "Girlie, I'm so sorry!" Megan jumped onto her bed and pulled Ruthie into a hug.

'Why are you sorry? I was the one acting like a complete and total--"

"Alright." Megan said smiling. "It's okay. You need to get cleaned up we have to work tonight."

"Uh...no." Ruthie said.

"Uh. Yeah!" Megan said getting up.

"No, Megan I got fired." Ruthie said.

"And I got you unfired. So go get cleaned up and we'll go get lunch." Megan said smiling.

"How did you do that?" Ruthie asked standing up.

"I can get Mr. Johnson to do anything. I thought you'd figured that out by now?" Megan said shrugging.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. Just don't say I never do anything for you!" Megan said. Ruthie stared at her unsure what to say. "Go! You smell worse then Tyler!" Ruthie smiled and headed for the shower. Megan continued cleaning up the dorm while Ruthie showered.

Megan stopped and lay down on her own bed. She looked at the time it was already three. She thought about yelling for Ruthie to hurry up but was to tired to call out to her. She felt the bed vibrate and looked around. She found Ruthie's jacket at the end of her bed and pulled her cellphone out.

"Hello?" Megan said uncertainly.

"Uh...Is Ruthie there?"

"She's in the shower...But I think she's coming out now if you want to wait?" Megan said.

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"Megan. I'm Ruthie's room mate. And you are?"

"Mary. Ruthie's older sister."

"Oh. Mary. Yeah Ruthie's right here." Ruthie came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel her long brown hair sticking to her back. Ruthie rolled her eyes and took the phone.

"Hey Mare." Ruthie said.

"Hey Ruthie. I'm just calling to remind you our flight leaves two weeks from friday. Our plane leaves and two and we'll get to Glenoak around eight." Mary said. Ruthie could hear her pen scratching on the other end of the line and she knew Mary was taking notes.

"Great." Ruthie said she looked at Megan and stuck her finger in her mouth. Megan rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at Ruthie.

"Ruthie you still there?" Mary asked hearing a commotion in the background.

"Yeah." Ruthie giggled. "I have to go. I have work tonight and I have to go...uh study." Ruthie lied. Megan looked at her and Ruthie rolled her eyes.

"Okay. Carlos, and the kids and I are coming out next monday to spend sometime in New York City so you better be available." Mary said.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later. Bye." Ruthie hung up and turned to Megan. "Save me!" She said falling onto her bed. Megan laughed and tackled her.

"Uh-uh. You're the one leaving me!" Megan said. "So deal with it!"

"I don't want to leave you. You sure you'll be okay?" Ruthie asked.

"I'll be fine. Now lets go get lunch. So get you're naked behind dressed!" Megan smiled. Ruthie nodded smiling and pushed Megan off of her.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everyone sorry for the delay. My Microsoft Word isn't working so I had to find a new program to use and I have a lot of schoolwork to finish with and prom is coming up I have just been very busy. I have narrowed it down to only updating this story as it is. At least until the summer. Once I have graduated things will be a lot less hectic I hope.

Sorry the chapters have been so short not having a lot of inspiration so they've been just the basic story line. Hopefully I 'll get my inspiration back and the story will get better.

Katie


	13. Aunt Ruthie

Chapter Thirteen: Aunt Ruthie

Ruthie zipped up her jeans and began searching through her dresser for a top, she was meeting with Mary and Carlos and their kids in a couple hours so she had to look appropriate she'd spent the past two hours in the bathroom showering and trying to get rid of the bags under her eyes. Ruthie looked over at Megan and calmed down, Megan was sleeping peacefully, which was rare for Megan she hardly ever slept let alone peacefully. Ruthie returned to digging through her dresser until she found one of her old tops, it was a short sleeved purple blouse. The last time she'd worn that was in eleventh grade, it felt like such a long time ago she couldn't believe she had changed so much in two years.

After they had returned from the family trip Ruthie was different. Finding out that T-Bone had cheated on her with Jane, Martin leaving to live with Sandy and Aaron. Her senior year had been anything but perfect, she spent most of her senior year locked in her room waiting to escape the transformation had been waiting to happen ever since the whole deal with Martin. It wasn't until she was in New York and living with Megan she really changed but it was only a matter of time before it had happened.

Ruthie pulled her hair out of the ponytail and ran her fingers through it, it was straighter then it usually was for some reason. She went into the bathroom and started putting on her makeup, once she was done with the basics: Eyeliner, Mascara, Lipstick, Lipgloss, eyeshadow; she looked at herself. The moment she was done she washed it all off, she couldn't go see Mary like that not today anyway. So Ruthie tried again, she put on a basic light purple eyeshadow and some lip gloss.

"Better" She mumbled to herself. She grabbed the base and started rubbing it on under her eyes hoping to get rid of the bags, she then put it on her cheeks to fill out her face so it didn't look so hollow. Not much helped she could still tell, she just hoped Mary couldn't. She checked the clock, she only had an hour left.

Ruthie grabbed her black leather jacket and threw it on quickly, she grabbed her purse and left quietly locking the door behind her. She hoped Megan would be there when she got back. Walking quickly through the halls Ruthie left the building and hurried off to the train. She hated being around people from school, she always had even back in Glenoak. It wasn't school that drew Ruthie to New York but New York itself.

Ruthie arrived at Central Park ten minutes early so she grabbed a bottle of water from the vender and sat down on a nearby bench.

* * *

Carlos stepped out of the cab and held the door open for Mary and the kids. Charlie bounced out of the cab and stood patiently on the curb while Mary handed Elizabeth to Carlos. Mary stepped out with Alexandra in her arms and closed the door behind her. Carlos took the stroller out of the trunk and unfolded it. Mary put Alexandra in it, but Elizabeth didn't want to so Carlos said he'd carry her for awhile.

"Where's aunt Ruthie?" Charlie asked happily looking around the crowded street eagerly. Mary looked around.

"You told her the right time right?" Carlos asked. Mary looked at him, Carlos shrugged. "Don't give me that look, you've been known to--"

"There she is...I think..." Mary said pointing towards a bench. Charlie started to run towards her but Carlos stopped him. "Don't run off." Mary scolded.

"Yeah..." Alexandra giggled. Charlie stuck his tongue out at her and walked off with Carlos. Mary looked at Alexandra and shook her head smiling.

Ruthie looked up and saw Mary, Carlos, Charlie and the girls coming towards her. Once close enough Charlie ran over and jumped on Ruthie. Ruthie picked him up and hugged him smiling.

"Hey Charlie. Look how big you've gotten." Ruthie said putting him down to look at him. "Wow. I can't believe you're five."

"Five and a half!" He corrected her. Ruthie smiled and walked towards Mary and Carlos.

"Hey Ruthie," Carlos said giving her a half hug.

"Hi. Hi Elizabeth." Ruthie added to the little girl. The little girl blushed and stuck her head on her father's shoulder. Ruthie smiled and looked at Mary. "Hey Mare."

"Ruthie..." Mary said in awe. Ruthie took a deep breath and nodded. "Wow. You look...so...grown up." Mary said.

"Uh...thanks." Ruthie said giving Mary a hug. "So What do you want to do first?" Ruthie asked digging her hands into her pockets.

"Why don't we got to the Children's zoo. That way you and I can hang back and catch up." Mary said.

"Um. Sure." Ruthie said.

"Yay!" The kids screamed simultaneously. The six of them headed into the park and towards the children's zoo. Once inside they walked around looking at all the animals, Charlie really loved the sea lions and the petting zoo, and the girls adored the penguins. Ruthie held back with Mary notting wanting to talk but knowing she would have no choice.

"So how are you?" Mary asked checking out her sister. Ruthie shrugged.

"You know, I'm alright." Ruthie said.

"You look different. Nice Jacket though." Mary said. Ruthie smiled but stayed silent. "So...Do you have any idea why Matt is so worried about you?"

"He said that?" Ruthie said staring at her.

"No, but it's obvious." Mary said.

"Oh...well I don't know..." Ruthie said playing with her jacket.

"Is it something that happened when Simon was out visiting?"

"I don't know." Ruthie said sharply.

"Are you sure? Cause I'm pretty sure you do. Otherwise Matt wouldn't be making you go back home. Is it something to do with your new life?"

"I don't want to talk about my life, it's separate from my family for a reason." Ruthie snapped. Mary fell silent.

"Fine." For the rest of the trip Mary and Ruthie didn't speak about anything important, they barely spoke at all. By the time it was over Ruthie was thrilled to be rid of Mary. That outing had only done one thing: made Ruthie dread the upcoming trip even more.

* * *

Authors Note: Again sorry for the delay I'm getting so bad but I'm still updating pretty regularly which is good because when I get bored I tend to just stop writing which is very for my stories hence why so many go unfinished. But not this one I won't let it but just be patient with me.

Hopefully this one was longer. I tried to keep Mary in character but I'm not very good at writing her character she's the one character I have a lot of trouble with her and the boys but mostly cause the boys are stupid. Anyway you got to see Ruthie in a different setting as Aunt Ruthie! Hope you liked it.

Katie


	14. Last Night

Chapter Fourteen: Last Night

Ruthie grabbed a couple of shirts from her dresser and brought them over to her bed where a large suitcase lay open. She tossed the shirts onto the top and began to fold them one by one and put them into the suitcase neatly.

"So what do you want to do tonight? We don't have work so we can do whatever you want..." Megan said quietly. She was lying on her bed with her eyes closed and her arm over her face. Megan wasn't in good shape and Ruthie could see that, which made her want to leave even less.

"Let's just hang out I'll go and get a pizza from Franks and we can chill." Ruthie said simply. She was too tired to go anywhere.

"Okay. We can have a mini going away party!" Megan said sitting up and smiling. Her smile lit up her thin face showing off her beauty that was hidden beneath the shallowness of her features.

"We can watch a movie!" Ruthie suggested.

"Yeah. Something funny...nothing depressing!" Megan said standing up on her bed and searching through the shelf above her bed. "What about...Knocked Up!" Megan said.

"Okay." Ruthie walked back over to her dresser and took out her jeans. She walked back to her bed and began folding her jeans.

"If you want I'll go get the Pizza..." Megan said.

"No I'll go once I'm done packing. We have time it's seven thirty." Ruthie said. "I'll go over at like eight." Megan nodded.

"I'm going to take a shower." Megan said getting up and going into the bathroom.

"Alright." Ruthie sighed and returned her attention to folding her jeans. Once she finished with he jeans she grabbed her underwear and some more shirts. She thought about what else she should bring and then she remembered about church. She hadn't been to church in so long. Megan and her never went. So Ruthie went to the closet and looked through her outfits most of which should would never wear in front of her parents let alone to church.

Ruthie's phone began to ring, she walked over and checked the caller id. It was Tyler.

"Hey Ty." Ruthie said walking back over to her closet.

"Hey Ruthie. What are you doing?" Tyler asked.

"Packing. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah. You don't got work today right?" Tyler asked.

"No." Ruthie said thumbing through her closet for a church outfit.

"You want to hang?" Tyler asked.

"Can't"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm chilling with Megan."

"What the fuck!" Tyler screamed into the phone.

"Tyler!" Ruthie warned. She did not have the patience to deal with him right now, in fact she never did and she never wanted to.

"But it's your last night!" Tyler whined. Ruthie sighed in anger.

"So!"

"So? So you don't want to spend it with your boyfriend?" Tyler asked.

"No! I have to go!" She said. "I'll call you when I get there, Love you. Bye." Ruthie hung up and scrunched up her face in frustration. She threw her phone back onto her bed and it began to ring again.

"Tyler. I told you I can't talk right now!" Ruthie yelled.

"Ruthie?"

"Matt!" Ruthie said startled by the sound of her brother's voice. "Oh I thought you were...Tyler."

"I can hear that. Just calling to see if you're packed for tomorrow. Who's Tyler?" Matt asked. Ruthie rolled her eyes and went back to her closet.

"I'm packing as we speak, and Tyler's my boyfriend." Ruthie said.

"Oh right. So you know what time you have to be there and everything right?" Matt asked.

"Yeah. It's a 2 o'clock flight. So I'll be there at one." Ruthie said grabbing a short black dress out of her closet and tossing it onto her bed. She kept thumbing through her closet for one of her old outfits but couldn't find any. She checked the clock it was now eight fifteen.

"Oh. I have to go." Ruthie said quickly closing her closet and going back to her bed.

"Okay. Well I'll see you tomorrow." Matt said. Ruthie hung up and folded her dress and put it in her suitcase she zipped up her suitcase and moved it to the floor.

"Megan, I'm going to get the Pizza okay?" Ruthie called.

"Alright," Megan called back. Ruthie left and headed across the street to Franks Pizzaria.

* * *

"I love that Movie!" Ruthie said bouncing up and down on Megan's bed. Megan laughed and grabbed her laptop before it slipped onto the floor. "Fuck man! I'm sorry!" Ruthie screamed.

"Your sorry! I'm sorry! Your leaving me! My bestest and only friend in the world!" Megan said dramatically as she dropped her laptop roughly on her desk.

"I don't want to go! I don't ever want to g back home! They don't understand me!" Ruthie said sliding head first off the bed. Megan sat down on the floor next to her. Ruthie looked up at Megan and watched as her vision blurred. "Megan your bleeding." A small trickle of blood was dripping from her nose. Megan got up and walked over to her mirror. She picked up a tissue and wiped away the blood.

"Your family is nice. They care about you...not like mine..." Megan said ignoring what just happened. Ruthie wanted to talk about what just happened but it was obvious Megan didn't.

"What do you mean?"

"My Fathers in prison for murder. You know who he murdered?" Megan asked turning around to look at Ruthie. Ruthie shook her head. "My boyfriend. When I was sixteen. He shot him sixteen times in the chest, he said 'one for every year you've been alive.'" Megan cried. Ruthie pulled Megan down to sit next to her and pulled her into a hug.

"What about your mom I'm sure she cares about you..." Ruthie said tearfully.

"My mom's a drunk. She's not a mom. I hate that fucking bitch almost as much as I hate my father." Megan said. "Your the only person that's ever cared about me.

"Come back with me. My parents can help...you..." Ruthie almost said us, she wanted to say us.

"No...no...I can't. I have to work..."

"Mr. Johnson would let you go--"

"But Marcus wouldn't."

"What do you mean?" Ruthie asked looking at Megan, but Megan turned away. "Megan!" Ruthie said sharply.

"Ruthie don't." Megan cried. Ruthie looked horrified. She didn't understand, she couldn't understand...But she didn't want to spend her last night arguing with Megan. So she held her and wouldn't let go.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey Sorry but these chapters kind of have to be short. Their will be a lot coming up soon once she heads back home. I got this chapter up not too late. Yesterday was my prom which was why it wasn't up yesterday. Hope everyone enjoyed it.


	15. Heading Home

Chapter Fifteen: Heading Home

Ruthie woke up early the next morning anxious about the trip. She had to meet her brother and sister at the airport at Noon. They had to meet two hours before their flight because of security. Ruthie paced around her room fiddling with stuff or a couple of hours while Megan slept. Finally at Ten Megan woke up and Tyler came by. She really hadn't wanted him to come by but she couldn't exactly tell him to leave, he was her boyfriend but Ruthie wasn't sure for how much longer. Ruthie reluctantly said goodbye to Megan and Tyler, and hailed a cab to LaGuardia Airport.

The ride over wasn't bad, they didn't hit too much traffic once they were out of Manhattan they were lucky seeing as it was the beginning of Spring Break. But as they got closer to the airport they hit heavy traffic. Ruthie sat in the backseat, wearing a light pink camisole with lace around the chest and a short white mini skirt and a light white jacket. She had sunglasses on covering her eyes which always showed how tired she was.

Ruthie arrived at the airport a little after twelve, Matt, Sarah, Malcolm, Jacob, Mary, Carlos, Charlie, Elizabeth, and Alexandra were all there waiting for her. Slowly Ruthie pushed her way through the crowd with her luggage and finally made it over to her family.

"Hey," Ruthie said taking off her sunglasses and placing them on top of her head, she gave Matt and Mary a half smile. Matt glanced at Mary who was watching him.

"Hey Ruthie." Sarah said breaking the silence she gave Ruthie a small hug and looked over at Carlos.

"Well, why don't we head over to security?" Carlos suggested. Carlos grabbed Ruthie's bag and tossed it onto the luggage cart and they all headed over. Charlie insisted on walking with Ruthie, while Mary and Sarah pushed their twins in their strollers. It took them almost an hour to get through security especially with all the kids. Finally they were through and they found their gate.

"Why don't we go get everyone something to eat since we have a while?" Mary suggested. Sarah agreed, so Mary, Sarah and Ruthie headed over to the food court. They picked up some snacks for the kids and Mary and Sarah wasted time looking at the Magazines. All Ruthie got was a coffee, what she really wanted was a cigarette or something else but she;d settle for a cigarette.

"You don't want anything to eat?" Mary asked as she watched Ruthie sip her ice coffee. Ruthie shook her head the thought of eating anything right now made her want to throw up. The prospect of going a week with out a hit was torturing her every thought.

"No, I don't eat before I go on planes." Ruthie lied.

"I never eat on planes. The food is always terrible." Sarah said, and then looked at Mary. "No offense."

"None taken. It can be pretty bad." Mary laughed. Ruthie smiled and followed Mary and Sarah back to the gate. Ruthie sat down and took out her IPOD she really just wanted to tune out her family at least until they got to Glenoak. But the moment she hit play Matt sat down beside her. Ruthie took out one headphone and looked at him.

"What?" Ruthie said trying not to roll her eyes in frustration.

"Did you ever get another job?" Matt asked in a hushed tone.

"I'm looking for one, okay. Stop bothering me about it, why it's _any _of your business I'll never know." Ruthie hissed. Matt glared as she put her headphones back in.

"Ruthie!" Ruthie growled and took her headphones back out.

"What!" She snapped.

"It's my business because your my sister and I care about you. You're only eighteen." Matt said leaning in so no body else could hear.

"Yeah. Eighteen. Meaning I can do what I want." Ruthie put her headphones back on. This time Matt pulled them out.

"Hey!" Ruthie said.

"Ruthie! You're not even acting like an adult why should you be treated like one?" Matt asked. Mary watched the two of them argue, she wondered what Matt knew that she didn't because the way they were fighting he definitely knew something that she didn't. Hopefully he'd be able to shed some light on what was up with Ruthie, well one thing was for sure this wasn't going to be a boring trip home, not that there ever was.

"Because Matt it's not your decision whether or not I should be treated like an adult because I am one and I live on my own, I have my own life and the only reason I'm here and going home is because you set it up behind my back!" Ruthie snatched her headphones back and got up and sat in a different row. Charlie followed her and Ruthie sat next to Charlie listening to music with him.

"What was that about?" Mary asked watching her son giggle as he listened to music with his aunt.

"Nothing." Matt sighed.

"What do you know that I don't?" Mary asked.

"A lot. I'm a doctor." Matt joked. Mary looked at him. "You mean about Ruthie?"

"Yeah." Mary said.

"Nothing. But she better change her attitude before we get back to Glenoak." Matt mumbled to himself.

"Yeah. I noticed that when we took the kids to the zoo." Mary said rubbing her temple. Elizabeth began to fuss so Mary picked her up and rocked her.

"What do you mean?" Matt asked smiling a fake smile at Elizabeth.

"Just that she really doesn't want anyone to know about her personal life..." Mary trailed off as she got out a pacifier from the baby bag.

"Yeah..." Matt trailed off.

The kids did not like waiting around for an hour and quickly got bored which meant a lot of whining having four two year olds is not fun especially when they have to sit in an airport for an hour with nothing to do. Even Charlie got bored of listening to music and went over and bothered his mom.

Finally the wait was over and they were on the plane. The seating was odd because there were so many kids. So Matt sat with Jacob, Sarah sat with Malcolm, Mary sat with Alexandra, Carlos sat with Elizabeth and Ruthie sat with Charlie. She loved Charlie but a six hour flight with a five year old was not her idea of fun.

For the first hour or so it was fine and Charlie watched TV and left Ruthie pretty much alone but then as time wore on Charlie began to get restless. Ruthie had just fallen asleep and he woke her up which pissed her off even more. Mary tried to get him to relax but Alexandra and Eliabeth were fussing as well. By Six Ruthie was ready to jump out of the plane, and they still had two more hours to go. Luckily they were serving Dinner so that would occupy Charlie. Unfortunately for her he managed spill his sprite all over the place including Ruthie which completely soaked her skirt, she was so glad they'd been out of juice.

Ruthie managed to dry herself off mostly to comeback and see that the airplane food hadn't agreed with Charlie and he threw up all over her seat. Mary decided to switch with Ruthie so Ruthie sat with Alexandra who didn't like anyone except her mom and sister and was not happy about now being under Ruthie's watch, and she made this very clear by throwing a nonstop tantrum until they finally arrived in Glenoak. And on top of that they hit major turbulence which caused an uproar from every child on the plane and Ruthie swore their must have been fifty screaming toddlers, and Ruthie hated flying when their weren't and screaming infants now she was freaking out and had to comfort a two year old who hated her.

When the plane landed Ruthie got off as quick as she could she kept fidgeting with her skirt which was still damp and somewhat sticky, and her ears were ringing from the constant screaming, not to mention the pounding headache she had which was making her nauseous beyond belief. Mary, Carlos, Matt, Sarah and the kids trailed behind Ruthie who was shakily walking as fast as she could. In the distance she spotted the rest of the Camden Clan. Her Mother, Father, Sam, David, Lucy, Kevin, Savannah, and Jordan. So short of Simon and his wife the entire family was there.

"Ruthie!" her mother yelled as she grabbed Ruthie and wrapped both arms tightly around her neck.

"Hi mom. Your crushing me!" Ruthie said trying to pry her mother off.

"Oh Sorry. I'm so glad to see you. Matt." Her mom turned to Matt and hugged him.

"Hey Ruthie." Her father walked over and hugged her next. His hug was gentler.

"Hey Dad. How are you?" Ruthie asked genuinely.

"Good."

"Hey Luce." Ruthie said turning her attention her sister while her father greeted Mary, Carlos and the kids.

"Hey Ruthie!" Lucy said happily. She looked at Ruthie up and down and was shocked at her appearance. She caught Matt's eye before she said anything and knew she wasn't the only one who'd noticed. "How are you? You look so...different."

"I'm fine. Hi Boys." Ruthie said ignoring sister. After everyone had said hello to everyone they split up into to groups to get home. Ruthie, Matt, Sarah and the twins would be staying at the house while Mary, Carlos and the kids would be staying with Lucy and Kevin. Ruthie wanted to stay with Lucy and Kevin but with nobody living at home anymore they had a lot of rooms, and her parents wanted her at their house, and Simon and his wife would be staying there too so only Mary, Carlos and their kids would be staying at Lucy and Kevin's.

"Ready to go?" Annie asked. Ruthie must have zoned out because everyone had already started to leave. "You alright?" Ruthie looked at her mom uncertainly.

"No." She said quietly. Her mother looked worried. Her head is pounding and she can feel that familiar tightening in her chest. _Please not now._ She prayed. "I...I need to sit down..." Ruthie said her legs were shaking. "Eric, wait." Annie ushered Ruthie over to a nearby row of seats. Eric, Kevin and Matt rushed over walked back slowly.

"What's wrong?" Eric asked sounding worried.

"I don't know." Annie said.

"I'm fine. I think I'm just tired from the trip..." Ruthie said her voice was soft and she could tell her parents weren't buying it, she'd have to be a little risky in order to hold off too much concern. "I haven't eaten anything all day. That's probably it."

"Why didn't you eat anything?" Annie asked sounding just as worried.

"I don't like to eat before I get on planes." Ruthie said. It wasn't a lie just wasn't the whole truth. "I'll be fine."

"You don't look so good." Matt said. Ruthie looked up at him and glared.

"I'm fine, sorry to scare everyone." Ruthie said standing up. Annie held her tightly as she was still weak.

"Well, we'll feed you as soon as we get home..." Annie said quietly to Ruthie. She smiled and brushed some hair out of Ruthie's face. Ruthie smiled back, she missed her mother's touch.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everybody I hope you liked this chapter it's longer see I told you I'd get you guys a longer chapter! : ) Anyway sorry for the delay but my finals are this week and then I will be completely done with HIGH SCHOOL! WHOO HOO! and yet so sad...On to the next chapter in my life and in this story hee hee.

Okay so yeah tell me what you guys thought of the big reunion. I made a family tree that I'm going to try to post on my profile its really cool. I'll update as soon as possible.

Katie


	16. Touching Base

Chapter Sixteen: Touching Base

Ruthie walked into the attic and dropped her bag on Lucy's old bed before sinking into her bed. She grabbed her pillow and threw it over her face, she took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. Ruthie couldn't believe she was back home, she couldn't believe it had been a year, she couldn't believe who she was. As these thoughts raced through her mind the familiar tightening in her chest began to creep up on her. She sat up and threw her pillow back against the bedpost, hot tears welled up in her eyes. Life wasn't supposed to be this complicated, it wasn't supposed to hurt this much, at least it shouldn't she thought. Ruthie got undressed and fell asleep quickly.

The next day everybody was over at the house, there was hardly a minute that she was alone, by dinner she was so tired of dodging everyone and in a really bad mood, she hated California it was too hot. Ruthie sat on her bed and looked at the phone she wanted to call Megan, she picked it up but there was a knock on her door.

"Dinner. Come on down everybody can't wait to talk to you." Annie said excitedly. Ruthie smiled sadly and followed her mom downstairs. Sam, David, Matt, Sarah and her father were sitting at the table. To her surprise Mary and Lucy were there too, Kevin and Carlos were back at Lucy's watching the kids. Ruthie took a seat between Sam and David. Once everyone was settled questions were flying at her.

"How's school Ruthie?" Eric asked taking a sip of water. Ruthie played with her food and shrugged, she was too tired to talk.

"It's fine." Ruthie said dully.

"Well how's New york it must be very exciting to live in such a large city, after living in Glenoak your whole life." Lucy said. "The people must be very different."

"Yeah. Different" Ruthie said thinking about Marcus and Tyler, if only Lucy knew.

"So what do you do on your free time?" Annie asked.

"I work." Ruthie snorted. She looked up to see everyone looking at her. "It's all I have time to do is what I meant." Ruthie said smiling nervously. She felt so fake around her family, but maybe that was because she wasn't used to being herself anymore or maybe she'd lost herself.

"What kind of job do you have?" Lucy asked.

"Uh..." Ruthie looked over at Matt who was shaking his head at her. "I'm a waiter." Matt glared at her, but didn't say anything. "Yeah. I work the late shifts though."

"That must be hard with school and all."Mary said.

"Uh yeah." Ruthie went back to playing with her food. "Hey, Sam, David how's school?" Ruthie asked hoping to shift the focus and to her relief it worked. For the rest of dinner she was left alone, she retreated to her room after dinner.

Finally alone she grabbed the phone and called her dorm room. Megan wouldn't have left for work yet. The phone rang, and rang, and rang until the machine picked up.

"Hey, Megan. It's Ruthie. Just calling to see how you were. It's a bitch being back here. I miss New York already. I miss you. Call me back." Ruthie hung up and called Tyler.

"'lo?" Tyler picked up groggily.

"Ty? It's me." Ruthie said happy to hear his voice.

"Ruthie. When you coming back?" Tyler asked sadly.

"In a week, I just left remember." Ruthie sighed smiling to herself.

"Yeah I know." Tyler said.

"Do you know where Megan is?" Ruthie asked.

"No sorry." Tyler said dully. Ruthie frowned, it was saturday Megan should be home getting ready.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Ruthie asked.

"I saw her last night when I was with Marcus."Tyler said shiftily.

"What are you doing with Marcus that I should know about Tyler?" Ruthie asked momentarily forgetting about Megan.

"Nothing. I already told you that--"

"Fuck you. Your lying to me!" Ruthie snapped. Her patience was wearing thin and she'd only been home a day, she was feeling awful and didn't want to deal with Tyler's bullshit. "What was she doing with Marcus? Buying? Thats all right?"

"Shit I ain't her father. I don't know or care what she was doing with Marcus--"

"Shit, Tyler you only care about whatever business you've got with Marcus! Right?" Ruthie said angrily.

"Come on Ruthie! Don't be angry. I love you. Look I'll keep an eye out for Megan, and I'll swing by your dorm if you want?" Tyler said.

"Really? And the club?" Ruthie said.

"Yeah, I'll be down there." Ruthie made a face and sighed angrily.

"I wish you'd tell me."

"It's nothing to worry about." Tyler said. Ruthie swung her feet over to lie back on her bed and that's when she saw Lucy standing in the doorway.

"I have to go!" Ruthie said quickly and hung up. "Lucy!" Ruthie said in shock.

"Hey..." Lucy said walking in slowly.

"How long have you been there?" Ruthie asked, she could feel her face getting hot and she wanted to scream at Lucy.

"Long enough to know that my little sister picked up some nasty language in New York." Lucy said folding her arms over her chest. "You curse?"

"Yeah. Well everyone in New York curses. Luce. It's apart of their...Jargon." Ruthie said looking at Lucy satisfied.

"That's not true."

"Yeah, it is. Who lives there? Me or you?" Ruthie snapped. "Sorry." Ruthie apologized. They stared at each other for a minute.

"So who were you talking to?" Lucy asked.

"My boyfriend. I was trying to get in touch with my room mate Megan." Ruthie said getting up and going over to her dresser.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend? What's his name?" Lucy asked.

"Uh...Tyler Montoya." Ruthie said brushing her hair. She needed something to distract her, she was feeling unnaturally angry at Lucy who hadn't done anything, except eaves drop on her conversation like a little bitch Ruthie thought. Example of unnatural anger, Ruthie thought scolding herself. "Look, I'm really tired. Can we talk tomorrow?" Ruthie asked. Lucy nodded.

"Yeah sure. I better get home anyway. I'll see you tomorrow in church."

"Yeah. I'm looking forward to hearing you speak again. I haven't been to church in a long time--" Ruthie stopped, she could not believe she just said that. "Night." She said quickly.

"Night." Lucy left closing the door behind her she stared at the door. Lucy went downstairs she spotted her father in his office. She went over and knocked.

"Hey Dad. Can I talk to you?" Lucy asked.

"Sure Luce. What's up?" Eric asked taking off his glasses and looking at his daughter.

"It's about Ruthie...You see I accidentally overheard her on the phone when I went up to say goodnight."

"What did you hear?" Eric asked.

"Some foul language for starts." Eric shook his head and waited for her to go on. "Also, she was talking to her boyfriend about some guy named Marcus. They were arguing about Tyler doing "business" with him." Lucy looked worriedly at her father.

"Yeah, your mother and I are worried about her, maybe we don't know how worried we should be..." Eric said. "I'm going to talk to your mom. You should head home, its late I'll see you at church tomorrow."

"Night Dad. I love you" Lucy hugged her father and left. Eric went upstairs and got ready for bed. When her climbed into bed Annie was already lying down reading.

"I'm worried about Ruthie." Eric said to Annie.

"I know that's why we had her come home." Annie said turning the page.

"Lucy overheard her talking on the phone and we may need to be more concerned, she's picked up foul language and possibly hanging out with dangerous people." Eric said. Annie looked up at him, she didn't want to believe Ruthie was in trouble.

"We have to trust her Eric. She's never been in trouble before. Not like what your thinking. She's a good girl." Annie said sternly.

"I know. I hope that's enough."

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everybody I hope you all liked this chapter I really like the conversation between Tyler and Ruthie I thought it was intense. I live in New York City and everyone curses, now whether it's like that everywhere I don't know but "Fuck you" in new york city is often substituted for shut up, and "Bitch" is a term of endearment, at least at my school.

I just wanted to explain a bit about why I felt it necessary for Ruthie to have foul language, just because she's to new york and wanted to fit in and cursing is something she would have definitely picked up, this is a much more vulnerable and less confident Ruthie then we know which I think had a lot to do with the whole Martin situation in the show, I thought Ruthie was a lot more dependant during that era and that's what spawned my idea for how Ruthie could be so easily influenced.

The next chapter should be interesting I will try to update as soon as I can. We only have like ten more chapters. I can't wait for everyone to see what I have planned. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, I'm glad you all like the story and Martin will be in it whether it turns into a Marthie in the sequel I haven't quite decided yet. But Martin will be in this one, and soon.


	17. In Gods House

Chapter Seventeen: In Gods House

The Sunday morning sunlight crept in through the window, streaking across the attic room and warming Ruthie's bedspread which was neatly covering her nicely made bed, which by the looks of it had not been slept in. Ruthie was in the bathroom kneeling on the cold tile, her face pressed against the cool porcelain rim of the toilet seat. Sweat dripped from every pore on her face as she clung to the seat miserably. She could hear her family below and wanted so desperately for one of them to save her from this torture.

Unsteadily she rose from the floor holding on to the sink, her loose nightgown clinging to her sweaty body. Ruthie made her way out of the bathroom and over to her bed, she felt like screaming her skin was crawling and every inch of her body ached. Ruthie tried to pull herself together, she threw water in her face, cleaned herself up, she even pinched herself. But even after showering and getting dressed she still looked sick.

Ruthie headed downstairs to the kitchen where her mother was bustling around getting the boys ready for church. Sam and David, were siting at the kitchen table in their Sunday clothes. Ruthie put on a smile and sat down next to David.

"Good morning Ruthie," Sam and David said cheerfully.

"Morning guys," Ruthie said straining to smile. Her mother came over and ran a comb through David's hair.

"Mom!" He protested.

"Um...Is that...appropriate for church?" Annie said eying Ruthie's outfit. Ruthie is wearing a black dress that goes down to just above the knees, and scoops down in the front and shows the bow on her bra.

"What do you mean?" Ruthie said.

"Uh. Never mind. Ruthie are you sick?" Her mother said looking worried. Ruthie looked nervously at her mother, she could feel the sweat forming on her brow.

"It's just a cold." She said. Ruthie stood up and walked away.

"Ruthie, you can stay home if you don't feel good." Ruthie stopped at the door and turned halfway.

"I want to hear Lucy speak." Ruthie said quietly. She turned and left the kitchen. Her mother stared nervously after her before returning to fixing David's unruly hair.

* * *

People filed slowly in to the church that morning, Ruthie and her family arrived and joined the crowd of people entering the church. Ruthie spotted T-Bone and Jane at the back of the church and felt a wave of disgust rush over her. She passed them quickly, ignoring them completely. She couldn't believe they were here, in her father's church.

Matt, Sarah, their kids, Mary, Carlos, and their kids were in the second row, and Annie, Sam, David, Kevin, Savannah and Ruthie were in the front row. Ruthie sat in the aisle, David sat beside her, and Sarah behind her. Eric and Lucy were at the front. Lucy looked so calm, so sure of herself. Ruthie felt safe listening to her sister up at the podium.

"Good morning everyone." Lucy said. Lucy smiled out at everyone her eyes resting on Ruthie momentarily before continuing to scan the crowd. "This Sunday is a special one for my family. Matt, Mary and Ruthie are in town and are here with us today. As well as my beautiful nieces, nephews, and my lovely sister in law Sarah, and my wonderful brother in law Carlos. So we are so blessed to have so much our family here with us today. Family is important in life..."

Lucy's voice began to fade in and out. Ruthie squinted trying hard to pay attention, but she was having trouble keeping from trembling. She was freezing and her stomach was churning. She felt a wave of nausea rush over her. She put her hand over her mouth. _I need to get out of here._

"Ruthie?" Her mother leaned over Sam and David. Ruthie got up and rushed down the aisle, her eyes watering. Her stomach lurched and she sped up.

"We are all family, we are all brothers' and sisters, and we must all care for one another..." Lucy stopped and watched Ruthie disappear through the doors. Everybody in the church started whispering.

"I'll go see if she's okay." Sarah whispered. Matt glared at the doors and then looked at Mary who looked confused.

"Okay." Annie said. Sarah got up and tried to discretely leave. She went down to the bathroom, where she found Ruthie. She was standing at the sink sobbing.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Sarah rushed over and placed a hand on her arm. Ruthie looked at Sarah through a wall of tears. She caught her breath and tried to wipe away as many tears as she could.

"I'm just..." Ruthie drifted off. What she wanted to say was I'm falling apart and I don't want to lie anymore, but she didn't. "I'm not...feeling well. I'm so tired...and just...being back...it's overwhelming." Ruthie sobbed. She was shaking and sweating. Sarah pulled Ruthie into a hug and brushed some hair out of her face.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked sounding concerned.

"Nothing. I just...I think I have a bug or something." Ruthie said starting to calm down. Annie walked in.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"I'm not feeling well." Ruthie said quietly.

"Why don't I drive you home. Sarah can you bring the boys?"

"Yeah, sure." Sarah left and went back to sit down.

Annie and Ruthie left. Ruthie felt relieved to be out she was still feeling horrible but at least she could feel horrible in her own room. Too bad she couldn't be home. She missed New York. She missed Megan. She missed the club. She even missed Tyler. _How am I going to survive this week?_

* * *

Authors Note: Hello everyone I am finally back. I had so much going on the past couple weeks. I graduated from highschool and then I got sick and then my computer crashed and I lost my outline and chapters and I didn't have a computer to update with. So here is chapter seventeen it would have been longer but I still don't have my outline. Hopefully I'll get it back soon.

I will try to update again as soon as possible thanks everyone for all your support. Sorry it's so short. Oh and Happy Fourth of July!

Katie


	18. Desperate Times

Chapter Eighteen: Desperate Times

Ruthie sits at her bedroom window staring out at the street below, watching the motionless street waiting, dreading the arrival of a certain car. Ruthie shifts and walks over to her bed. She picks up her cell phone and dials Tyler's number. The phone rings, once, twice, three times before cutting to voicemail. Ruthie returns to her seat at the window thoroughly miserable. And to top it all off the car comes into view. It pulls into the driveway and out steps Simon. The one person she desperately did not want to be here.

"Ruthie!" Sam called up. Footsteps pounded on the stairs as they made their way up to the attic. "Ruthie Simon's here." Sam called knocking on her door.

"Ruthie!" David yelled banging on the door. Ruthie got up and walked over to her door. She opened it and tried to smile at Sam and David. "Simon's here." David said his voice returning to its normal level.

"Thanks." Ruthie said reluctantly. She followed Sam and David down into the living room. Where Mary, Lucy and their kids were. Mary and Lucy were sitting and talking as their children played at their feet. Sam and David sat down and began playing with their niece's and nephew's. Ruthie walked over and sat at the edge of the couch; Lucy looked up and glanced at Ruthie.

"Hey Ruthie," Mary said.

"Hi." Ruthie said shortly she wasn't in the mood to make polite conversation. And the tone of her voice made it clear to Mary and Lucy.

The front door swung open and in walked Simon and his wife, Cecilia. Sam and David jumped to their feet and rushed over to them.

"Hey guys!" Cecilia cried smiling ear to ear. Sam and David grabbed her and then clung to Simon.

"Hey." Hearing all the noise Annie and Eric come into the living room.

"Simon!" Annie cried happily. Annie grabs Simon pulling him into a hug.

"Hey Mom." Simon glances around smiling as he spots Lucy holding Savannah with Mary and Charlie beside her. He sees Matt descending the stairs with Jacob in his arms, and then he spots Ruthie. His eyes stop, as he watches her. She tries to hide her thin frame behind Lucy and Mary, but Lucy moves heading towards Simon leaving Ruthie exposed. "Ruthie." Simon mouths, somehow it doesn't come out. But Ruthie knows he said her name.

Ruthie disappears into the crowd of people and heads upstairs back to her room. She closes the door and leans back against it. Her chest tightening and tears stinging her eyes. Seeing Simon hurt more then she thought it would. The look on his face broke her heart. Ruthie slid to the floor her head in her hands, her dark brown curls wrapping around her face like a curtain. She didn't want to hurt Simon; she didn't want to hurt her family.

After having his head talked of by the rest of the family, Simon was finally able to slip away under the excuse of getting settled in, but he left Cecilia to do the settling in. He made his way upstairs where just 

his luck he ran into Ruthie coming down the attic steps. As soon as she spotted him she made to turn around.

"Don't even try it." Simon called picking up his pace. Ruthie sighed and turned around to face him.

"Hi Simon," Ruthie said forcefully. Simon looked at her suddenly speechless he couldn't believe this was his sister. Besides the overall sickly appearance, there was an edge to Ruthie that hadn't been there before.

"Ruthie…"

"Simon. Don't. Please." Her voice shook as she said the last word. Simon looked into her eyes and could finally see behind her new edge, she was scared.

"Ruthie, what is going on with you? Please talk to me. I can tell you've gotten worse since I came to visit you in New York-"

"Simon. You don't know anything about me—"Ruthie spat.

"Are you kidding me? You're my little sister, I know everything about you—"Simon yelled angrily.

"No you don't!" She screamed. Simon stepped back in shock. "You don't anything! Nobody does! So I wish everyone would just leave me alone! I have a new life away from Glenoak and our family. The only reason I'm here is to please mom and dad."

"I don't believe that. Whatever trouble you're in, and you are in trouble since you're a stripper—"

"Shut up!" She growled. Simon narrowed his eyes and glared at her.

"No. Whatever trouble you're in, you want help otherwise you wouldn't have come home. You can deny it, but you know our family, we'll find out." Simon waited for her to respond.

"As soon as Friday comes, I'm on a plane back to New York and we'll see then if your theory is right when I don't come back!" She yelled.

"Just tell me!" Simon screamed in frustration.

"Leave me alone!"

"You're my little sister! How can I leave you alone? Ruthie you're…" Simon paused to lower his voice. "You're a stripper—"

"First of all I'm a dancer not a stripper. And second of all it's none of you business what I am." Ruthie said glaring at Simon. She was sick and tired of them judging her. "You and Matt are always judging me, I'm so sick of it! You're not perfect!"

"I never said I was. But I'm not dancing around practically naked every night in front of a bunch of horny drunken men." Ruthie looked at Simon; she couldn't believe he'd said that.

"I don't have to stand here and listen to this!" She screamed. Ruthie ran upstairs and slammed the door behind her. Simon glared up after her.

Ruthie locked her door and walked over to her bed she sat down and ran her fingers roughly through her hair. Her phone rang beside her; she looked at it and picked it up. It was a 212 area code.

"Hello?" Ruthie said.

"Ruthie?" Ruthie was relieved to hear his voice, to hear someone with that New York accent took away some stress.

"Tyler. Hey. Have you heard from Megan?" Ruthie asked leaning back on her pillows.

"Yeah. I'm about to see her."

"What do you mean?" Ruthie asked.

"Megan's in the hospital." Ruthie froze her heart pounding against her chest.

"What? What happened?" Tears filled her eyes.

"I don't know. I went looking for her, because you asked and she was with Marcus. She was in bad shape so I brought her to the hospital." Tyler said slowly. Ruthie took a deep breath but it cut short as tears fell.

"I want to talk to her! I need to know she's okay! What happened?" Ruthie yelled hysterically into the phone.

"Ruthie. I'm not done talking to you!" Simon yelled through the door.

"Go away!" She shrieked. "Tyler! Put her on!"

"Ruthie calm down. I can't put her on the phone she's not with me. I wanted to let you know. But I got to go this bitch is yelling at me to get off my phone. "Tyler said nastily.

"I don't care. Tyler—"

"I'll call you later. Listen, I'm not leaving till I know how she is. I promise." Tyler said reassuringly. "I gotta go. I love you."

"I love you too." Ruthie cried. The line went dead but Ruthie sat with the phone still pressed against her ear. Her chest tightening and thoughts racing through her mind. She couldn't believe Megan was in the hospital, she should have never left her. She knew Megan wasn't doing well, she knew there was something up and she left her anyway. _What kind of friend am I?_

"Ruthie? What's going on?" Simon yelled through the door. Ruthie dropped her phone and glared at the door; a sudden rage filling her. She jumped up and ran to the door, she unlocked it and swung the door open.

"I told you I didn't want to talk to you! Just leave me the fuck alone!" She shrieked punching Simon in the chest. Simon taken by surprise looks at Ruthie in shock.

"Fine. I'm done trying to help you." Simon yelled, he turned and descended the stairs. Ruthie still furious raced after him she caught up with him in the hallway on the second floor.

"I never asked for your help! I don't need your help! I needed you to leave me alone!" She shrieked. She was running out of breath but she didn't care. She grabbed Simon's arm and turned him to look at her. He turned his face full of anger, but once he saw the pain on Ruthie's face his anger turned to fear. "I hate this fucking family! Why can't you just leave me alone! If hadn't come here Megan would be fine! I wish I had never come here. I knew you would never leave me alone!" Ruthie sobbed. Simon tried to hug her but she pushed him away and collapsed on the floor struggling to breathe. Matt and Lucy came running up the stairs. Annie close behind.

"What's going on?" Matt asked looking from Simon to Ruthie. Lucy walked over and knelt down beside Ruthie. Ruthie backs away from Lucy and tries to pull herself together.

"Ruthie?" Annie looks down at her daughter fear spreading throughout her body at the site of her daughter collapsed on the floor.

"What happened?" Lucy asked.

"God! Why is it…that everyone has to get involved?" Ruthie said making her way to her feet.

"You were screaming." Lucy said. "And cursing—"

"Shut up! God Lucy." Ruthie yelled. She looked around at her family's faces in disgust. She walked past them and down stairs.

"Ruthie." Annie called, she rushed after her. Ruthie entered the kitchen and ran her fingers through her hair. Her father was there.

"What's all the commotion?" He asked. Ruthie looked at him and sighed.

"I was arguing with Simon." She rubbed her arm up and down as she said that, she glanced at the floor trying to think.

"Ruthie, are you okay?" Ruthie looked up and held her tongue. She shook her head in defeat.

"I need to get out of the house. I need some air. Could I borrow the car?" Eric looked hesitantly at Ruthie, he didn't want Ruthie out of his sight and truth be told he didn't Ruthie right now. Annie entered the room and looked from Ruthie to Eric.

"Ruthie are you alright?" Annie asked placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder. Ruthie looked up and then at her mother.

"I was just asking Dad if I could borrow the car because I need to get out of here. Just for a little while clear my head." Ruthie saw her mother's face change to look just like her father's. "Please."

"Okay." Annie said finally. Eric handed over the keys to Ruthie who left the kitchen. "She'll be fine. We have no reason not to trust her."

"Are you sure?" Eric said. Annie was quiet, she knew he was right.

Ruthie grabbed her jacket from the hanger by the front door and left. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she needed to get away even if it was for only a little while. Ruthie got into the car and put the key in the ignition, the hum of the engine seemed to calm her, which was strange because the only time she ever drove was when she was in Glenoak.

She pulled out of the driveway and drove as far away as she could; she drove past the promenade but couldn't bring herself to get out. She didn't want to bump into anyone she knew, and chances were if she went into the promenade she wouldn't leave without seeing someone she knew.

Ruthie drove out of Glenoak finally with an idea of where she would go. There was a place she had gone to with Peter once when they had gotten lost. They'd gone out to talk and ended up walking so far that they had no idea where they were. They ended up by the beach, a small area that was kind of rundown but pretty.

West Beach. Ruthie pulled in to the empty lot across from the beach. The sun was beginning to set, it was getting late but she didn't care. She got out of the car and walked over to the beach she took off her shoes and left them on the sand. She rolled up her jeans and walked over to the water. She looked out at the waves crashing down, the foam rising and rushing over her toes. Ruthie had always loved the beach; it made her feel calm and peaceful.

The cold water rippled over her toes leaving sand and pieces of rocks between her toes. The beach was empty except for Ruthie. This was perfect since she wanted to be alone. She felt like the only person in the world, as the waves crashed down around her. She stepped back over to where her shoes were and sat down in the warm sand and watched the sun setting in the sky. The orange sun glowed over the water, arming the surface. Tears shone in Ruthie's eyes as she thought of Megan, a lump formed in her throat as she thought of Megan. She didn't even know what happened. How she got hurt? How she was hurt? How badly she was hurt?

Ruthie bowed her head and raised her hands to her face as the sun washed over her. The water cool and salty ran back and forth against the sand. How could life be so beautiful and so cruel at the same time? She wondered.

"Help me." She begged. She lifted her head and wiped the tears across her cheeks. Her eyes red from crying. "I don't know what to do anymore…"

* * *

Eric sat in his office his laptop open in front of him, one hand at his mouth the other on the mouse, his glasses resting on his nose as he scanned the screen. He glanced down at the clock on the bottom of the screen. 7:30. Ruthie had been gone for four hours and they still didn't know where she was. Eric returned to working on his sermon.

"Eric," Annie said hesitantly as she opened the door to his study. Eric looked up and took off his glasses. "Dinner is ready."

"Any sign of Ruthie?" Eric asked closing his laptop. Annie didn't answer.

"We're going to start." With that she turned and left leaving Eric once again alone in his office. He sighed and began to pray.

"I don't know what I should be doing. How can I help her when I don't even know where to begin? I know something is not right but I don't know what. Help." Eric said quietly looking up.

* * *

Ruthie put her shoes back on and headed back across the sand towards the car. Instead of getting into the car she kept walking, she headed into the city area of West Beach. The streets were as rundown as she remembered. They were for the most part deserted except for a couple of homeless people sleeping on the street. Up ahead she could see a club similar to the one she worked for back in New York. Royale was spelled out in big red neon lights above the entrance. Ruthie was tempted to go in but didn't she kept walking, she knew what she was looking for now. And when she turned the corner she'd found it. Down the block was a group of four of five huddled around someone. Ruthie wrapped her jacket tightly around her frame as she approached them.

The man in the middle looked up and eyed Ruthie as she approached him. The others around him turned to look at her. A young girl around Ruthie's age approached her.

"What are you doing here? You lost or something?" she asked. She looked back, the rest of the people were walking away except for the man.

"No." Ruthie said, although she didn't sound very convincing.

"You sure 'bout that? Look this isn't the best place for sightseeing; I can give you directions if you want?" She said. Ruthie shook her head. The girl sniffed and rubbed her nose gently. "Then what are you doing here? You ain't from around here."

"I live in New York. Trust me I'm not scared. And I'm not lost I came here on purpose." Ruthie said sounding a lot more sure of herself this time. "Your friend over there…" Ruthie paused. She knew what she wanted to do, but she could just as easily see herself turning and walking away and part of her wanted to.

"He's not my friend. More of an…acquaintance. Why?" She asked suspiciously. Ruthie took a deep breath and let go of her jacket giving herself a more confidant stance.

"He deals?" she asked. The girl eyed Ruthie up and down before nodding yes.

"Jackson." She called. "She's aight." The man walked over slowly and stood beside the two girls.

"You need something?" He asked.

"Bag. Coke. Two." She said unsurely. She wasn't used to saying it out loud. She didn't have to with Marcus; he knew what to give her depending on how much she gave him. The man pulled out two small plastic bags.

"Forty bucks." Ruthie took out two twenties from her pocket and exchanged it for the bags.

"I'm out. See ya Trin." The man turned and disappeared into the shadows. The girl turned to Ruthie and smiled. Her smile reminded Ruthie of Megan's.

"Trinity. That's my name. And you are?" She asked.

"Ruthie." Ruthie said.

"Well, maybe I'll see you around Ruthie." Trinity walked away, leaving Ruthie alone in the dark. Ruthie took a deep breath before heading back to the car.

She got in and closed the door behind her. The car felt so small in the darkness, so quiet. She turned on the overhead light and pulled down the mirror. She looked at her face, there were circles under her eyes and her face was pale. Ruthie took out one of the bags and looked at it in the light. She had to make this last four days. She took her pinky and put it in the bag; she placed it under her nose and inhaled deeply. A warm feeling rushed over her and coursed through her body.

Ruthie sat in the lot for twenty minutes just staring out the front window at the wall in front of her. She finally started the car and pulled out. For the first time in days she didn't feel like crawling out of her skin and all her fears were erased. She didn't even care that she was heading back home.

The roads were deserted, unlike in New York, it felt like California had been sucked into a black hole all the light extinguished for the night except for the headlights of her car which felt like they were being sucked out too. The darkness was overwhelming, engulfing the car and the road around it. The car swerved as Ruthie grew unsure of herself. Suddenly two bright lights came into view directly in front of her, a blaring horn blasted into the car; Ruthie swerved and avoided the car that had been coming directly at her. The car skidded to a halt on the side of the road.

Ruthie gripped the wheel hard as he heart pounded against her chest but she wasn't afraid just confused, and tired. Ruthie closed her eyes, thought of Tyler, and the club, and Megan filled her mind as she drifted off to sleep.

A couple hours later as the sun began to creep back into the sky. Ruthie awoke; sweat dripping off her face she jerked up looking around. She was on the side of the road, her backend still sticking out into the road. A few cars passed by her, but kept going. Ruthie blinked and rubbed at her eyes. She wiped some of the sweat away and rubbed her nose. She looked into the mirror; her eyes were red and bloodshot.

She pulled out her phone and looked at the time it was five am. Ruthie started the car and pulled back out on to the road. She wasn't that far from Glenoak luckily and was back at her house by 5:20. She pulled into the driveway and stumbled out of the car and into the house. Nobody was awake yet, or at least they weren't downstairs. She headed upstairs and stopped on the second floor after banging into the wall and falling down.

"Ow." She said rubbing her hip. She got back up and made it up to her room. She collapsed onto her bed and fell asleep.

* * *

"Annie?" Eric whispered sitting up in bed. He looked down at his wife who was turned on her side not facing him.

"I know." Annie whispered back. "We'll talk to her tomorrow." She said quietly. Eric agreed but didn't say anything he just stared up at the ceiling and closed his eyes.

* * *

Authors Note: YAY! I finally finished this chapter! I will try really hard to start updating more often! Because I have goal for this finish date which means you should be seeing a lot more chapters in the next couple of weeks. Anyway I think this chapter is really good it seems different then my other chapters but I hope in a good way. A lot happens in this chapter. One of the reasons I didn't want to rush writing it.

The next chapter will up as soon as I write it and I will get on it quickly. I'm going to try to make a youtube video about this story so I'll let you know when I do. The link will be up in my profile. Also I finally uploaded the family tree I was talking about the link is in my profile so check it out and let me know what you think. I think I picked good pictures for the kids and for Ruthie.

So that's it and thanks for being so patient in my absence and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Katie


	19. Rock Now Roll

Chapter Nineteen: Rock now Roll

The next morning Ruthie woke up around ten, after several attempts to wake her up her mother had decided to talk to her later allowing Ruthie to sleep. While the rest of the family was out and about planning around tonight.

Ruthie sat up and brushed her hair out of her face with her fingers. She looked around her room groggily before getting up and going into the bathroom. She threw water on her face to wake her from the daze she was in. She glanced at the clock, ten-thirty; she was surprised at how late it was no one ever slept in that late in this house.

Taking as long as possible to get ready, Ruthie finally had to go downstairs and face her parents, who she knew would not be happy with her. As she descended the stairs she suddenly remembered Megan and ran back up to her room. She grabbed her phone and saw that she had two missed calls from Tyler. She called him back immediately but got his voicemail. She forgot about the time difference, there was no way Tyler was awake at 7:30 in the morning he wouldn't even be awake had it been 10:30.

She put her phone in the pocket of her jeans and went downstairs; her mom was cleaning the counter in the kitchen. She stopped when Ruthie came in.

"Good morning." Ruthie said looking at her mother nervously. She didn't understand why she was so nervous. She wasn't a child anymore they couldn't punish her, if they did that would give her a perfect reason to leave.

"Ruthie. You got in pretty late last night. In fact it wasn't even night when you got in. What was it 5:30?" Her mother asked scrubbing the counter furiously.

"I'm sorry. I lost track of time and I'm not used to driving in the dark so I stayed at a motel. I should have called but by the time I realized I couldn't drive back it was so late…" Ruthie drifted off. She wasn't sure if her mother was buying it.

"You should have called anyway. Your father or I could have come get you. Where did you go anyway?" Her mother looked at her tossing the sponge into the sink and taking off her rubber gloves. Ruthie hesitated before answering but she was pretty sure her parents had never heard of West Beach, let alone gone there.

"I drove over to West Beach." Ruthie said taking a seat at the counter careful not to put her hands down where her mother had just cleaned, she placed her hands in her lap.

"West Beach. I've never heard of it. Had you been there before?" She asked walking over to the sink to wash her hands.

"Once Peter and I got lost and ended up there. It has a really beautiful beach. Anyway, I'm sorry for not calling. I should have." Ruthie got up to leave.

"Ruthie. You know you can talk to me right?" Annie said turning and looking at her. Ruthie frowned and nodded.

"I don't have anything to talk about—"

"What happened with Simon?" She asked. "You were screaming and cursing—"

"I'm sorry about the cursing. It's not a big deal in New York. I picked up a bad habit." Ruthie said walking around the counter, she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm working on it." _That's not my worst bad habit though._ Ruthie thought.

"You still haven't said why you and Simon were fighting?" She said returning to her question.

"Did you ask Simon?" Ruthie said folding her arms in front of her chest. Annie looked at her and for a split second saw the real Ruthie. Standing there arms folded and hips to one side she looked like she used to, but there was that hardness to her that wasn't there before.

"Yes. He won't tell me."

"Well there's nothing to tell. Sibling argument." Ruthie said simply dropping her arms. "Look, I have to make a phone call."

"Alright. But Ruthie, we're going out as a family later. That includes you." Annie said as Ruthie headed out of the kitchen. Ruthie stopped and looked back at her mom.

"What exactly are we doing?" Ruthie asked.

"Bowling." Annie said simply. Ruthie groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Great." She said as she left the kitchen. Ruthie headed into the living room, which for the first time since she got home was empty. She took a seat on the couch and pulled out her phone. Happy walked over and jumped up and sat beside her resting her head in Ruthie's lap. Ruthie ran her fingers through her fur, scratching her ear.

"Good girl Happy." Ruthie said quietly. She looked down at her phone and pressed three, Tyler's name popped up and she pressed talk. She listened and waited to hear his voice but his voicemail picked up. She snapped her phone shut in frustration and put her phone back in her pocket. She looked down at Happy who stared up at her.

"Hey," Lucy said walking in to the living room. Ruthie looked up and rolled her eyes discretely.

"What are you doing here?" Ruthie asked with a slight attitude.

"What's with the attitude? Did I do something to you?" Lucy asked striding over to Ruthie with an attitude of her own. Ruthie looked up Lucy but said nothing. "Well? Did I?"

"No. Look I just don't want to be here—"

"Yeah well sometimes you have to do things for your family. And flying out to see your family once a year isn't that a big of a deal. You can spend the next 365 days forgetting us." Lucy said. "New York has changed you and not for the better."

"You're so full of it!" Ruthie said getting to her feet.

"That's exactly what I mean." Lucy said pointing at her.

"What my language? Get over yourself." Ruthie said.

"Yeah, and your attitude, the way you dress, the way you hold yourself—"

"What do you know? You were laughed out of New York." Ruthie spat. Lucy looked at Ruthie hurt by what she'd said. Ruthie felt bad but walked away anyway. She walked right out of the room without looking back. Ruthie headed upstairs to her room where she spent the rest of the day.

* * *

At five, Sam and David came upstairs and knocked on the door. It was time to go bowling as a family; Ruthie could remember the last time they'd gone bowling as a family was right before her father told them all he had to have heart surgery. Mary hadn't been there, neither had Matt, so why did she have to be there now.

The bowling alley looked exactly the same as the last time, the promenade looked like it always had, and she could tell not much had changed in her absence. And just as she'd suspected everyone who saw her said hello and asked about New York.

Sam, David, Charlie, Savannah, Jacob, Malcolm, Alexandra, and Elizabeth were set up in one lane, with bumpers. Sam and David were in charge of the kids. In the second lane was Eric, Matt, Carlos, Kevin, and Simon. The third lane was Annie, Sarah, Mary, Lucy, Cecilia, and Ruthie. The bowling alley wasn't that full, most people went to the pool hall to shoot pool and not the bowling alley.

Everyone began to bowl, Ruthie was extremely bored, the only thing she found fun was watching Sam and David help the little ones try and bowl. Alexandra kept rolling it in the gutter. Jacob kept trying to throw it. Elizabeth rolled it so slow the ball kept stopping. And Malcolm tried to run with the bowl.

"Your turn." Mary said to Ruthie who was busy watching them. Ruthie looked up at Mary and sighed.

"Right." She got up took the ball and walked out to the lane; she looked back and could hear her family cheering her on. She looked over at Simon and Matt who were standing close to each other talking. She narrowed her eyes and glared. She turned back to the lane and threw the ball angrily at the pins. It rolled straight down the middle and she got a strike. Ruthie walked back to her seat while everyone congratulated her. She grabbed her purse.

"Where are you going?" Annie asked.

"I'm just going to walk around get some air—I promise to come right back." Ruthie said looking at her mother's face.

"Fine." She said simply. Ruthie left the bowling alley and stepped out into the cool night air. People around her bustled about as they made their way to the movie or restaurants.

Ruthie walked around the promenade clearing her head it took all of her energy to not find a bathroom; she knew it would be risky to do while she was out with her parent's. Ruthie was so caught up in her own 

thoughts she wasn't paying attention where she was going until she smacked into someone. She fell backwards but a hand reached out and caught her pulling her back to her feet.

"Thanks…"Ruthie trailed off looking at the person she'd bumped into. _Of all the people._

"Ruthie? Hey how are you?" Martin said looking surprised to see her and she could tell surprised at how she looked.

"Martin…What are you doing here? Well, I mean. I'm surprised to see you. Uh never mind. I'm fine, you?" Ruthie stumbled over her words nervously. Martin looked at her concerned.

"I'm fine. How's New York?" Martin asked as they started walking so they wouldn't be in the middle of the street.

"It's fine. I'm so used to it now." She said giving him an uncomfortable smile. "So where's Sandy?" Ruthie asked when they came to a stop by a bench. Martin looked at Ruthie sadly; Ruthie looked up into his eyes and felt the sting for the first time. The sting of knowing it was over.

"She's fine. She's with Aaron. I'm spending some time with my dad with my time off." Martin said taking a seat. Ruthie looked hesitant but took a seat beside him. There was an awkward silence between the two of them. "I guess you heard that I was…am…I asked Sandy to marry me."

"Yeah. Simon spilled the beans." Ruthie said avoiding Martin's gaze.

"That's okay. I should have told you though." Martin said sweetly. Ruthie took a deep breath but still couldn't look at him. "So are you here with your family?"

"Yeah, uh…" Ruthie turned to look at him but looked down in his direction instead. She laughed nervously. "Family bowling night. Lame, I know."

"No, that's cool." Martin said with a smile. Ruthie looked up at him. Their eyes met. Martin's smile faded as he looked into her hollow eyes. Her appearance finally hit him. "Ruthie…"

"Yeah?"

"Never mind."

"What?" Ruthie said urging him. Martin paused looking her over once more.

"It's just you look different." Ruthie narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything. "Are you alright?"

"I really wish people would stop asking me that. Do I look awful? Am I that different?" Ruthie said glaring at Martin. Martin looked taken aback by her sudden outburst.

"No. Ruthie I didn't mean—"

"I have to get back. It was nice seeing you." Ruthie said standing up but her tone of voice made it perfectly clear to Martin it had not in fact been nice seeing him. Ruthie walked off quickly returning to the bowling alley. She snuck off into the bathroom before returning to her family.

* * *

When she returned it was her turn. She stood up shakily and walked out to the lane where she almost slipped Ruthie began to laugh and she looked over at her mom who smiled. Apparently happy to see her daughter happy, oblivious to the fact she was high. Lucy on the other hand who stood beside her mother was not happy with how Ruthie was acting. Ruthie glared at Lucy and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Lighten up Luce! You're always such a tight ass!" Ruthie said giggling. Annie's smile disappeared. Lucy turned away from Ruthie in disgust.

"Ruthie." Kevin said warning her to stop. Ruthie rolled her head to look at him and scoffed.

"Yes?" She said snottily.

"Watch your language. I don't care if you want to speak like that, but don't do it in front of my children." Kevin said pointing a finger at her. Ruthie mimicked him silently and rolled her eyes. She looked over at Simon and Matt who were sitting together looking at her disapprovingly.

"Any comments from the peanut gallery?" Ruthie snapped at them. Simone narrowed his eyes and glared.

"Why don't you sit down and shut up or roll the ball?" Simon yelled. Matt took his arm gently and brought him back to his seat. Matt whispered something in Simon's ear. Ruthie's face turned red as she watched.

"Stop talking about me!" She shrieked dropping the ball. She jumped out of the way and slipped on the floor. She crashed to the floor. Annie ran over to see if she was okay.

"Ruthie are you okay?" Annie asked. Ruthie climbed to her feet and walked over to her coat. Charlie who was sitting by it jumped up and ran over to his mom in fear. Ruthie looked at Charlie's face and tears swam to her eyes. She turned away from him and glared at Matt and Simon.

"I hate this family!" She said quietly her voice scary as she glared around. With that she turned and left, she'd rather walk home then spend another second with them.

* * *

Authors Note: Hello everybody! See it didn't take me forever this time! I am going to try really hard to update on time. I hope everyone likes this chapter I think it came out well and you finally get Martin so some of you should be very happy and I know he wasn't in it for too long but he will come up again and at least he made his first appearance.

I have made the trailer because you all have been so supportive and so patient with me that I really wanted to make the trailer for you all. So I have finished it, rather quickly I think I just have to add the finishing touches and put it on youtube when it is done I will post the link on my profile so check back. I will probably have it up tomorrow.

Katie


	20. Crocodile Tears

Chapter Twenty: Crocodile Tears

"We have to talk to her Annie, we're running out of time she leaves on Saturday and it's already Wednesday." Eric said as Annie folded the laundry. She held on to the shirt in her hands and stayed quiet. She knew he was right but if they confronted Ruthie it could ruin the rest of the trip, Ruthie hadn't been home in almost a year and she didn't want to ruin it. "Her trip home has already been rocky. Whatever problems she's having in New York, She's brought home with her."

"I know. Alright." She said defeated.

"I'll go get her." Eric left the room and went upstairs to Ruthie's. He knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He knocked again.

"Just a minute." Ruthie called. After a minute Ruthie opened the door slightly. Her hair was a mess like she'd been sleeping, and her clothes were ruffled.

"Uh Ruthie, your mother and I would like to speak to you in our room." Eric said seriously. Ruthie nodded quietly and followed him down to their room barefoot; he knew he'd waken her up. Ruthie entered their bedroom and took a seat beside her mother, her father closed the door.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Ruthie asked looking up at her father and over at her mother. Annie stayed quiet and looked over at Eric waiting for him to say something.

"Well, we didn't want to address this with you immediately because we were so happy to have you home. But it's spilled over and we feel it needs to be addressed…"

"What? Is this about last night? Because, I shouldn't have behaved like that but Simon and Matt were just…making me so angry." Ruthie said careful as to what words she used.

"No. Well partly. We got your report card in the mail a couple of weeks ago which is why we pushed so hard for you to come home." Ruthie looked up at her father angrily but said nothing.

"Ruthie, is school too hard? Are you not adjusting? Why are you failing everything? Maybe you're working too hard." Annie said turning to face her. Ruthie didn't say anything; she didn't feel anything not even that familiar burn in her chest before a panic attack. She wasn't panicked.

"Mommy! It's just…I'm so…stressed!" She sobbed throwing her head into her mother's chest. Annie surprised by this reaction held Ruthie close looking at Eric in surprise. "I…just…I…I panicked. I kept having…panic attacks and couldn't…concentrate…I didn't want…you to worry!" She sobbed.

"Oh. Ruthie." Annie said hugging her tightly. "You should have told us we had no idea."

"I didn't want you to worry." Ruthie cried. "I mean so much is going on. You don't need my problems." Ruthie stopped and realized she didn't have her phone. "I have to go back upstairs."

"Why?" Annie said surprised by the sudden change. Ruthie didn't want to tell her but if she wanted to wait by her phone she'd have to.

"My roommate, Megan, is in the hospital and I've been waiting to hear…how she's doing." Ruthie said leaving out Tyler purposely.

"What happened?" Annie asked worrying.

"I don't know." The first completely truthful sentence to come out of her mouth.

"I hope she's alright. Of course you can go." Annie said giving her one last hug. Ruthie hugged her back and left. Eric watched Ruthie leave shaking his head. He looked angrily at Annie.

"What?" Annie snapped.

"Annie that was all an Act." Eric said. Annie looked at him and shook her head in disbelief.

"You may choose to no longer trust our daughter but I do. We have no reason not to trust her, she just came clean—"

"Who knows how much of what she just told us was true. Did you see how quickly she stopped crying? Her attitude and behavior since she got home is more than enough reason to not trust her." Eric said seriously. "We cannot just turn our backs to her, just because you're afraid of losing her. If we do, we could lose her forever. We don't know what kind of trouble she's in but I have a good hunch and it's nothing small."

"How dare you!" Annie yelled.

"Annie we have to face it." Eric said sternly.

"Don't speak to me like that. I am not one of the parents you speak to. I'm your wife." Annie went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Ruthie back up in her room was wiping away the tears in annoyance, she always hated fake crying it took too much energy. She walked over to her stuff which was lying all over the spare bed. She looked at it and sighed, it was nothing like her dorm room her dorm was always clean; Megan was somewhat of a clean freak.

Thinking of Megan, Ruthie grabbed her phone but Tyler had still not called her back. She couldn't believe it could take him this long to call her back it was driving her crazy. The fact she couldn't be there for Megan and that she didn't even know what was wrong with her.

Ruthie lay back and stared up at the ceiling, she couldn't go downstairs, she couldn't go out, she couldn't do anything except lie here or get high. Ruthie rolled her groaned at the thought of it, the trouble it caused and it was more fun with Megan. So she did what she always did now, sleep.

* * *

The doorbell rang. Sam ran to the door and opened it.

"Hey Martin!" Sam said happily. Martin smiled and stepped inside closing the door behind him.

"Hey Sam. How are you?" Martin asked.

"Fine, what are you doing here?" Sam asked.

"I came to talk to Ruthie do you know where she is?" Martin asked. Sam thought about it before answering.

"I think she's upstairs in her room." Martin nodded and headed upstairs. _I don't even know why I'm here, but something about Ruthie the other day when I saw…it made me worried about her. And I don't want her going back to New York hating me especially when I still…care about her._

Martin reached her room and knocked on the door. "Just a minute." She called out impatiently. Martin waited his hands digging into his pockets. "Come in." Martin opened the door and walked in the room looked just like it did when she left, just how he remembered it, except for the shocked and angry Ruthie.

"Hey," He said uncomfortably.

"What are you doing here?" She asked making no effort to be nice or polite.

"Well, I didn't want you going back to New York angry at me—"

"Why? It's not like we ever talk to each other your life will go on just the same whether or not I like you or not." Ruthie said glaring at him. Martin frowned.

"Ruthie that's not true. You're the one who doesn't talk to anyone in Glenoak—"

"Well, I have my own life like you." Ruthie said walking away from him to continue putting away some more of her clothes that were lying on the floor.

"Ruthie, I care about you. You're one of my best friends—"Ruthie laughed, but not a happy laugh a cruel laugh.

"That's ridiculous. Martin I haven't seen or spoken to you in almost a year. We weren't that close my senior year either, I hardly saw you then." Martin looked at her.

"Ruthie you're the one who pushed me away."

"Whatever." Ruthie said ignoring him. "What are you doing here anyway? Why aren't you with Sandy and Aaron?" She spat.

"Look I don't know why you're attacking me—"

"Because I don't want you to be here!" Ruthie yelled covering her face. Martin looked surprised by her sudden snap. He watched her, and even though she had her back to him he could tell she was crying.

"Ruthie—"

"Martin. I loved you and you just…" Ruthie trailed off crying. "No. I can't. I won't do this." She turned and glared at him. "Get out!"

"Ruthie…You turned me down when I told you I loved you—"

"You were too late!" She sobbed. "Stop it! Go!"

"You said you would be with T-Bone forever. That didn't even last the summer—"

"What does that have to do with anything? I was with him when you finally decided you loved me." Ruthie cried. "Stop! Get out or I'll throw you out!" she shrieked. Martin looked at her like he was going to cry and left. Ruthie watched his back walk out her door and hurt more than it ever had.

* * *

Authors Note: Hey everybody this chapter is a bit shorter and the next one will probably be short too but I have some very good chapters coming up as it is drawing to a close. This story is a two part story, and this one is done in about six chapters. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter this may be his last appearance in this part I haven't decided.

Soon I will be getting my own laptop and I will be able to update whenever I want so hopefully it will be quicker.

Katie


	21. Confrontation

Chapter Twenty-One: Confrontation

Ruthie sat on her bed fuming, her glaring holes through the door. She couldn't believe Martin, why did he have to come here just to upset her. It was like he had done it on purpose, he knew how she felt about him and he just pushed her and pushed her until she gave in. She lay backward on her bed and stared aimlessly up at the ceiling she thought back on the conversation she'd had with him a couple months back. She'd felt so stupid IMing him, just as vulnerable and naïve as she always had around him. For some reason he had this affect on her, this way of mesmerizing her so she couldn't think or feel about anything other than him. He was the magnet and she was the metal and she was powerless to him.

Ruthie sat up fuming with renewed anger for him. She looked around the room in disgust she hated being back here. Now she understood why she'd been so desperate to get away, the feelings being in Glenoak brought her were not the once happy and comforting ones they were. Now all she felt was hatred, resentment, denial, this wasn't her home as far as she was concerned. It was just where her family lived.

Ruthie ran her hand carelessly through her hair closing her eyes momentarily and trying hard to remember a time she'd been happy here. A time she'd called this place home. She could almost see a happy curly haired child running around the house carefree and happy, a genuine smile on her face, but the image quickly slipped away surrounded by the angry disappointed faces of her brothers and sisters. Of her mother and father. And she could only imagine what they would say if they found out, the thought alone cause panic to creep into her chest with an icy chill. But on some level she couldn't help but admit that they must at least suspect.

Tears sprang to her eyes at the thought of admitting that they might now or even suspect, her stomach churned and her heart raced. They could never know. They'd be so disappointed, and they'd try to stop her. It was her life, her decision and she'd made it six months ago when she stepped into the club. She knew exactly what she was getting herself into even if she hadn't wanted to admit it at the time. She'd wanted an escape and when the opportunity knocked she entered without a second glance back.

Now, here she was six months later not regretting a single thing except her decision to come home. She'd never once questioned herself in New York and within minutes of landing in Glenoak she began questioning every decision she'd made and thought of making. The fear and indecisiveness that filled her when she was home drove her crazy, she'd left that person behind and the moment she was back it consumed her once again.

Ruthie sat up and put her head in her hands roughly shaking her hair, hoping to shake herself out of these thoughts. The questions and thoughts that clouded her mind were unnerving her and she wasn't sure how much to take. Taking another look around her room she decided she needed to at least leave her room.

Getting up she crossed the room and headed downstairs for something to drink, all the screaming and crying she'd done with Martin had not only exhausted her mentally but physically. Life in New York wasn't a piece of cake but it was better than this, she didn't feel like there was a fight behind every corner. In New York she had at least one place she could feel safe, but here…she couldn't even feel safe in her own room. Driven out by the memories and thoughts it brought to her mind.

"Ruthie." Ruthie was pulled out of her self-destructive ramble by the sudden call of her name. She spun around to see not just one brother but two.

"Just what I needed." Ruthie mumbled crossing her arms and turning to study them.

"Actually it is." Matt said stepping towards her. Ruthie narrowed her eyes, watching his every movement for a threatening one.

"Really, cause in less I need medical help, which I don't," She added quickly seeing the look Matt and Simon exchanged. "Then I don't need your help."

"Ruthie, you promised that you would find another job. But you haven't. And since you've gotten here you've gotten meaner and meaner. It's frightening, your attitude, your language, everything about you." Ruthie rolled her eyes.

"You don't think this is serious? You have a problem—"Simon started.

"What do you know?" Ruthie laughed coldly.

"Simon." Matt warned. Simon bit his tongue but continued to glare at Ruthie. "We want you tell Mom and Dad. About your job—"

"And whatever else you're hiding." Simon interjected; Matt sighed and looked at Simon.

"Shut up Simon. I think Matt can corner me on his own. You're only here because you know where I work. Big deal." Ruthie snapped.

"You know what Ruthie—"

"Simon—"

"What, Simon? Are you finally going to grow some balls and confront me or continue to be passive aggressive like Matt." Ruthie said raising her voice just enough so that it wouldn't carry but was plenty loud for those in the vicinity.

"Go to hell!" Simon screamed losing his cool.

"So I'm not the only one with a mouth then, hm?" She said smiling evilly.

"Simon, she's doing it on purpose!" Matt said putting a hand on his chest and lowering his voice.

"I can hear you, you do know that right? I was the family snoop in case you don't remember I have good hearing." Ruthie said.

"I think it's you who doesn't remember." Matt said turning to face her again. "I think you're the one's whose forgotten who they are. What happened to you in New York?"

"It wasn't New York." Ruthie said frustrated at how annoying the constant banter about her dramatic change in New York was getting. "I changed long before I left, not that either of you would know you haven't lived here for years. New York was just a change of scenery; I could finally do what I wanted without being watched constantly because I was Eric and Annie Camden's daughter."

"Oh don't pull that!" Simon said annoyed by her whining. He glared at her. "We were all raised here in Glenoak, all raised PK's. You can't use that as an excuse! Your problem is your own, and whatever reason you won't let anyone help you. But we're going to whether you want it or not!"

"Hypocrite!" She screeched the moment he stopped speaking. Her face flushed red. "How _dare _you tell me not to use it as an _excuse_ when that's exactly what you did to get away from the family six years ago!" Simon looked at her speechless, his eyes narrowed.

"I killed a kid, that's why I left." He said his voice dangerously low. They squared off, eyes locked in a glare.

"That's not the point—"Matt began.

"Ruthie we're giving you a chance to be the one to tell Mom and Dad, if you don't want to take it then we will." Fear flashed across her face, her eyes widening momentarily as her color drained. Matt and Simon both caught her reaction but before either one could say anything she was off.

"Do what you want. I don't give a fuck. By Saturday I'm gone anyway!" She hissed with that she turned on her heel and raced down the stairs and out of the house as fast as she could. _If I could I'd be on the next flight home, and maybe I will…_

"Let's go." Simon said his voice calm.

"Not yet." Matt said shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" Simon asked.

"I have to check something, make sure…" He trailed off and looked towards Ruthie's room. Simon's eyes followed but wasn't sure what Matt thought he'd find. Then it hit him and he nodded silently in agreement.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone. My next update. Yay! I'm so close to being done and the tension is rising not only for Ruthie but me as well because I want the ending to be as spectacular as I imagined it. And trust me what I've imagined is spectacular and well worth the suspense. Let's hope I can pull it off. : ) Fingers crossed. Lol.

Anyway, by now I'm sure plenty of you have seen my trailer for this story and I have to admit that I am so pleased with how it turned out. I hope everyone else enjoyed it, and if you haven't already let me know what you thought because I made if for you guys my lovely readers. You have all been so patient and supportive and dedicated. Everytime I'm like I have to update I promised my readers, my brothers like what are you babbling on about lol. I do tend to babble lol.

I tried to make this chapter longer for you guys but it was still quite short, hopefully it was packed with enough energy that it will sustain you until my next update in a couple days. As always, read, enjoy and my favorite review! : )

Katie


	22. No More Secrets Between You and Me

Chapter Twenty-Two: No more Secrets Between You and Me

"Hello?" Ruthie answered the phone desperately hoping it was Megan.

"Ruthie…" Megan said. Her voice was quiet and weak, but Ruthie was relieved to hear from her. Just hearing her voice was comforting it meant that she was alright.

"Megan I was so worried about you what happened?" Ruthie asked frantically. Ruthie waited but the line was quiet, whatever happened it didn't seem like Megan was all that interested in sharing. "Please, Megan. I just want to know what happened…"

Megan sighed. "I was working…and things got a little out of control…" She said.

"At the club? How?" Ruthie was confused, and scared the thought of Megan getting hurt at the club scared her, especially when the club was one of the few places she felt safe.

"No. Not at the club…" Megan said, Ruthie could tell Megan was either trying not to cry or already crying. Ruthie got up and closed her door, locking it to make sure nobody could come in. She crossed her room and stood by her bed gripping the end of it so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"But you said you were at work?" Ruthie said calmly. She knew if she freaked Megan would close up and not tell her anything. She heard Megan hesitate before speaking again, and Ruthie dreaded what she suspected was coming.

"I was…with Marcus." Megan said crying.

"Megan." Ruthie said tears in her eyes.

"I know. Look I didn't want you to know because I knew you'd be upset—"

"Only because I don't want you to get hurt and you did! Megan, Marcus is scum. I just don't understand how you could work for him…doing…that. Have you…with Marcus?" Ruthie asked avoiding actually talking about it.

"Only a couple times." She whispered. "It wasn't his fault though. The client, he was…violent. Marcus, helped as soon as he could." Megan cried. Ruthie wanted so badly to hold her, to be there for her.

"I'm just glad you're alright…" Ruthie cried drifting off. She walked around her bed and sat down placing her face in her hand. She ran her hand up through her hair and lay back across her bed.

"I am…I will be…" Megan said quietly.

"Promise me." Ruthie whispered.

"What?"

"Promise me, no more secrets. No more secrets between you and me okay." Ruthie cried.

"Okay..." Megan said. She went silent before asking, "How's California?"

"Horrible!" Ruthie said laughing through her tears. Megan laughed.

"That bad huh?" Megan asked smiling.

"Yeah, I don't think I can stay one more day. I'd much rather be back in New York with you..."Ruthie trailed off crying.

Why did she ever come out, if she'd been in New York she could have stopped Megan or at least found her sooner. This whole trip had been a disaster from the start, a horrible idea. If she could she'd go back and slap herself for thinking about coming out here. But all she could do is just get back to New York as soon as possible.

"You only have three more days. You can make it." Megan said comfortingly. Ruthie shook her head and tried not to sob.

"I don't think I can." She cried into her hand. She closed her eyes and tried to get a hold of herself.

"Yes you can. Three more days and Ty and I will be waiting for you at the airport and we'll drag you home the minute you get off the plane. We're going to take you out and celebrate your birthday the right way!" Megan said trying to smile. Ruthie froze listening to Megan.

"Birthday…" She repeated softly in shock.

"Don't tell me you forgot you birthday is tomorrow?" Megan said giggling."Why do you think I'm calling you. Just to whine about my injuries?"

"Megan…" Ruthie said quietly.

"Don't, I would have called you before but I wasn't ready yet. I figured I could call you as a surprise for you birthday." Megan said.

"I'd much rather spend my birthday with you…" Ruthie whispered. Ruthie went silent for a minute, tears slipping down her face. She opened her mouth to say something when she heard a crash outside her door. Ruthie froze.

"Ruthie—"

"Megan, unfortunately. I have to go." Ruthie said quickly. "I'll call you later."

"Alright." Ruthie hung up and wiped the tears off her face. She got up and crossed her room. She unlocked her door and opened it to see Sam and David outside her door. Sam was on the floor, David standing over him.

"What are you guys doing here?" Ruthie asked trying to keep her voice calm.

"Uh…"David said.

"Were you spying on me?" She shrieked. Sam scrambled to his feet and stood beside David.

"Ruthie—" Sam started.

"Get out of my sight before I murder you!" She shrieked. Sam and David ran down the stairs Ruthie behind them. "I cannot believe you two! How dare you spy on me!

"What's going on Cecilia asked coming out of the room she and Simon were staying in.

"None of your business." She spat at Cecilia. "What did you two hear? Tell me!" She grabbed Sam's arm hard.

"Ow! Ruthie let go!" He cried.

"Ruthie let go of him!" Cecilia yelled running over to separate them.

"We didn't hear anything!" David yelled angrily pushing Ruthie off Sam. Ruthie let Sam go and glared at the two of them.

"What is wrong with you?" Cecilia screamed. Ruthie glared at her and went downstairs without another word. She entered the kitchen where Simon was rummaging through the fridge. Before she could get out of the kitchen he spotted her.

"Ruthie." He said calmly. Ruthie turned to face him, a fire in her eyes. "Angrey again are we?"

"What areyou Yoda? And why is it I can't go anywhere in this house without running into someone...I don't want to run into it!" She looked Simon over cuelly as she said the last part.

"You know what, whatever! I'm just going to leave." Simon said cooly. He exited the kitchen without another word leaving Ruthie alone. Ruthie took a seat at the table and began to cry queitly. She lay her head into her arms, her forehead pressed against the table, lettingher tears drop onto the wood.

* * *

Authors Note: We're nearing the end, its just around the bend. Only four chapter left. I hope everyone enjoyed this I know it was short and this Authors Note probably will be to. So yeah thats it.

Katie


	23. Surprise!

Chapter Twenty-Three: Surprise!

Ruthie sat on her bed with her laptop in front of her; she stared down at the screen while chewing off the eraser on her pencil. Ruthie shook her head and grabbed her phone she put the half eaten pencil down on her pad of paper and dialed the number on the screen. She listened as it rang, waiting for someone to answer.

"American Airlines, how may I help you?" A woman's voice rang through speaker.

"I'd like to change my flight if that's possible…" Ruthie said.

"May I have your name?"

"Ruthie Camden." She waited listening to the woman on the other line type rapidly. After a minute the typing stopped.

"Do you want to just change the day?"

"Yeah. I would like a flight out tomorrow if possible." Ruthie looked around her room sadly, but knew this was what she wanted.

* * *

"We have to take Ruthie out today." Mary said looking at Lucy, who was frowning. "Luce, she's our sister. We have to get her out of the house so Mom and Dad can set everything up for the party."

"She doesn't deserve a party, the way she's been acting. I'm sorry but I don't like who she's become." Lucy said leaning one arm against the counter.

"Luce, something is seriously wrong with Ruthie. It's not her, and I'm surprised that you of all people don't get that." Mary said. Lucy looked up at Mary and sighed.

"I know… When did you turn into the sensible sister?" Lucy joked. Mary smiled.

"Luce, neither of us were the sensible sister. That was Ruthie." Lucy knew she was right.

"Alright. We can have a girl's day out, you, me, Sarah, Cecilia and Ruthie." Lucy suggested.

"Okay. I'll let Sarah and Cecilia know, you go talk to Ruthie." Mary smiled and walked off. Lucy made a face and headed up stairs.

"Alright. Your flight leaves Friday at 5pm." The lady said sweetly. The sugary tone in her voice was making Ruthie want to gag. She'd always hated airline attendants, which is why she was so surprised that her sister became one, but at least Mary wasn't like the rest of them.

* * *

"Thanks. I appreciate your help." Ruthie mumbled. "Where can I pick up the tickets?" Ruthie asked.

"They will be there for you when you get here just go to customer service. You will need ID though."

"Of course. Thanks…er…bye." Ruthie hung up and looked up; Lucy was standing in the doorway about to knock. "Uh…hi. What's up?"

"We're having a girl's day." Lucy said.

"Oh…okay." Ruthie said confused, she was sure Lucy and Mary didn't want to invite her.

"We want you to come." Lucy said picking up that Ruthie didn't quite understand. Ruthie looked at Lucy doubtfully.

"Oh. Alright. Let me just get ready." Ruthie said giving Lucy a half smile. Lucy turned to leave but stepped back into Ruthie's room. Ruthie looked up.

"Oh, and Ruthie."

"Yeah?"

"Happy Birthday," Lucy smiled at her.

"Thanks." Ruthie said awestruck. Lucy left. Ruthie watched Ruthie disappear and smiled to herself. Lucy headed down the stairs thinking to herself, _that's the nicest I've seen Ruthie since she got back and the most normal…_

Simon paced back and forth in the living room while Matt sat on the couch with his elbows resting against his knees. He looked up at Simon and watched him walk back and forth. He knew why Simon was so anxious but he needed to stop, immediately.

"Simon!" Matt warned.

"What?" He said spinning around.

"Stop." Matt said simply.

"Oh right. I'm just nervous."

"You know I'm doing it by myself? You have to help Mom and Dad setup for the party." Matt said.

"I know" Simon said. Cecilia, Mary, Sarah, Lucy and Ruthie all came down the stairs. Ruthie was the last one down. She looked different, happy. Ruthie hadn't looked Happy in a long time. Matt couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Ruthie look like this. She was almost smiling.

"Hey." Matt said standing up and walking over to Sarah. He gave her a small kiss on the lips and turned to the rest of the girls. Simon walked over and hugged Cecilia. He kissed her and whispered "I Love you." She smiled and whispered. "I love you" back.

"Where you girls off to?" Matt asked looking at Lucy. Who caught his eye and nodded discretely.

"We're going shopping." Cecilia said smiling up at Simon who was hugging her from behind.

"Oh. Just what our closet needs more shoes." Simon joked. Cecilia turned around hit Simon playfully.

"I do not have that many shoes—"

"Twenty three pairs of shoes is a lot of shoes." Simon said. Matt and Simon looked at each other and started laughing.

"Boys," Sarah and Cecilia said. "Bye." Sarah and Cecilia kissed their respective husbands goodbye. The five girls left leaving Simon and Matt alone in the hallway once again. Matt looked over at Simon.

"Go help Mom and Dad. I'll let you know." Matt said seriously the smile disappearing from his face immediately. Simon nodded and left. Matt looked at the stairs and took a deep breath. Slowly he made his way up the stairs his hand gripping the railing so hard his knuckles turned white. He reached the second floor and looked around…

"Matt?" Ruthie said peeking out from her room, she smiled seeing him standing there. "Matt! Matt!" Ruthie cried running out of her room. Matt turned around to see a small curly head child running toward him, her hair bouncing with every step. Her tiny hands balled into fists.

"Hey Ruthie!" Matt said with a smile. His long brown hair fell into his face as he bent down to her level. Ruthie rushed up to him and put one of her small hands on his shoulder. She smiled at him showing off every tooth in her mouth, and the large gap in the middle.

"Look. I lost my first tooth!" She said holding her mouth open and pointing a small pudgy finger at the gap between her teeth. She dropped her hand and brought up her other fist to his level. She uncurled her fingers to reveal a tiny white tooth in the middle of her palm.

"Congratulations Ruthie!" Matt said raising one hand to give her a high five. Ruthie gave him a high five and smiled. Simon came up the stairs and stood beside Matt who was still bent over.

"What's going on?" Simon asked looking from Matt to Ruthie, his long blonde hair moving with every turn of his head.

"I lost a tooth!" Ruthie said smiling.

"Cool! You know you get money for that right?" Simon said looking down at Ruthie.

"I do? I didn't know teeth were worth money. Sharks must be rich, they have hundreds of teeth." Ruthie said looking down at the tiny tooth.

"No, teeth aren't worth anything—"

"The toothfairy collects them." Matt said cutting off Simon. Simon looked at Matt and rolled his eyes.

"Matt, there's no—"

"Simon." Matt warned. Simon caught on and nodded.

"Oh right. The toothfairy." Simon said. Ruthie looked at them, unsure whether to believe them or not.

"I've never seen the toothfairy." Ruthie said.

"She only comes in the middle of the night to collect teeth. So tonight when you go to sleep. Put it under your pillow and in the morning it will be gone and money will be there." Matt said. Ruthie smiled.

"Cool!" With that she tucked the tooth into the pocket of her shorts and ran off. "Mommy! Mommy, guess what…"

Matt watched as the image disappeared and he realized it was all just a memory. He looked around and his eyes rested on the room where Ruthie had lived alone for so many years, with all her Hello Kitty dolls. He remembered her Hello Kitty obsession. Matt smiled sadly, but the smile disappeared as he looked up towards the attic.

As he climbed the stairs he thought about praying, praying he wouldn't find what he was looking for. Praying that it wasn't true. But he knew it wouldn't make a difference. Matt was a doctor, he knew, how could he not.

The door was slightly open when he got to the top of the stairs. He pushed it open and looked around. It looked exactly the same as it had when it had been Mary and Lucy's room, then Lucy and Ruthie's room, then Mary, Lucy and Ruthie's room, and finally just Ruthie's room. It was hard to believe it was the same girl sleeping in that bed.

He walked over to Ruthie's bag and began looking through it, lots of clothes some he hadn't seen Ruthie wear and looking at the m he understood why. He didn't find anything in the first bag. He walked over to the dresser and opened it searching through it. It was mostly Ruthie's old Clothes with a couple of new items. He grabbed the bag on top of the dresser but it was only makeup. He walked over to the vanity and combed through the boxes on it. He opened the top drawer and stopped. He reached in and pulled out a small bag that was half hidden under a box of cigarettes. He held it up and sighed. Tears came to his eyes as held up the bag of cocaine. His little sister, a drug addict…he couldn't believe it. But there in his own hands was the proof.

* * *

Ruthie took a sip of her ice coffee and watched Cecilia parade around the dressing room in a somewhat short black dress. Ruthie rolled her eyes at the expression on the other women's face. She could just imagine there faces if they saw her dance.

"Nice dress." Ruthie said taking another sip of her ice coffee. She was dying for a cigarette. Cecilia smiled.

"Thanks, I'm hoping Simon will like it too." She said with a smile. Ruthie grinned and rolled her eyes. This outing had been more fun then she'd expected. She was actually having fun.

"Your turn," Sarah said smiling over at Ruthie. Ruthie looked down at the basket of clothes she'd picked out. They were nothing like she was used to wearing, Bright happy colors like lavender and baby blue. Colors she hadn't worn in forever. Styles she never wore anymore. Yet she didn't mind. Maybe it was something about being around her family, but as the time went on she felt her new edge diminishing. Which could possibly be adding to her urge to leave, but mainly it was her addiction, addiction to both the drugs and her new lifestyle, that pulled her back to New York; pulled her away from her family.

She grabbed the basket and entered the changing room. Slowly she pulled off her skin tight jeans and low-cut camisole. She pulled out one of the new outfits and looked at herself in the mirror. She stared at herself briefly looking herself in the eye, for a moment she thought she saw the old Ruthie staring back at her. But just as quickly her eyes were as dark and cold as she'd become accustomed to.

Once Ruthie had finished putting on the new clothes she stared at her reflection, it was such a different view. Slowly she reached up and pulled her hair back in a half ponytail like she used to wear it. She took a tissue from her bag and wiped away the eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick. She looked at her make-up free face in shock.

She pulled back the curtain and stepped out and faced her sisters. She saw the surprise written on their faces, but Lucy's face hit her hardest. Lucy looked so sad and so happy at the same time, there were tears in her eyes, and Ruthie had this feeling the reason Lucy was pushing her away was because she knew…

* * *

"Surprise!" The chorus of voices rang through the house as Ruthie entered the backyard to see her entire family, and all her old friends waiting for. But the real surprise was the look on everyone's face when they saw her no matter how hard they tried to disguise her. Those who hadn't seen her since she'd returned were shocked by her appearance, but her family was surprised by how normal she looked. Her long curly brown hair, which had been getting less and less curly was now completely straight and she'd cut it to just below her shoulders. She was wearing a baby blue, brown and white plaid tubed top, with light blue denim shorts that were frayed at the bottom. She had on baby blue/ brown flip-flops to match. She also had almost no make-up on, and she was smiling.

"Happy Birthday Ruthie!" Annie said hugging her. "You look beautiful." She said kissing her on the top of her head. Ruthie couldn't help but grin at her mother, she hadn't seen her look this happy since she got home, and it made Ruthie happy but sad at the same time. She knew she was leaving tomorrow and they didn't.

Ruthie walked around the backyard greeting people she never liked, people she didn't like anymore, and people she didn't ever want to see again. Case and point, T-Bone.

"Hey Ruthie." T-Bone said sheepishly as he approached her. His hair just as long and goofy and his eyes just as shifty, maybe she had a biased opinion since he did cheat on her. "Happy Birthday."

"I can't believe you actually had the balls to show up." Ruthie said; it just sort of slipped out. Not that she really regretted it. T-Bone looked shocked at her response, even taken aback. "Oh come on your really surprised by my reaction?" She said grabbing a carrot stick from the Hors D'oeuvres. She bit into it and stared up at him.

"I haven't seen you in almost a year. I just wanted to see you. I've missed you, and I was worried about you because I'd heard some things. And well we were in love at one point—"Ruthie cut him off unable to listen to his dribble anymore.

"Save the bullshit for someone else. Frankly, I'm not interested." With that Ruthie walked away. She walked past Jane and watched her stride over to T-Bone and whisper to him. Jane glanced up at Ruthie who narrowed her eyes. After that Ruthie didn't see either of them for the rest of the night. Although she did have to spend most of the night avoiding Martin, which she did rather well. But she was less then pleased to see Sandy and him holding hands. Even though it was somewhat comforting to see that Martin didn't look as happy as everyone made it seem.

All in all the night wasn't as bad as she'd thought it would be she actually kind of enjoyed, but it didn't change her mind she was still getting on that plane five o'clock tomorrow.

* * *

Authors Note: Yay! Ruthie's birthday party! Only Three more chapters. I can't wait for Chapter 25 and 26 they are hopefll going to be my best, the next one should be good to. Short but good. Something big happens. A lot happened in this oe but a lot of it was little stuff like Ruthie's haircut. It just came to me and I was like it'c brilliant I was so happy with the idea of changing her appearance.

I want to take the time to thank everyone who has been following this story and reviewing and all the love I've been getting from you guys I really appreciate it and I hope you all don't hate me when you read the last chapter in this story, just keep in mind the sequel will not be that far off and I just had to end it that way. Sorry if this is killing you.

Katie

* * *


	24. Revealing The Truth

Chapter Twenty-Four: Revealing The Truth

Ruthie closed her door and walked over to her bed. She picked up her phone and looked at it; she ran her fingers through her significantly shorter hair and smiled to herself. She looked down at the phone and her smile slowly disappeared. She sighed and dialed the number. It rang once, twice.

"Hello," Megan said groggily.

"Hey." Ruthie whispered.

"Hey Girlie." Megan said happily.

"Were you sleeping?" Ruthie asked.

"No. Not yet. I just got home from work."

"Where?" Ruthie said quickly.

"The club." Megan said.

"Okay…"

"Happy Birthday. How does it feel to be nineteen?" Megan asked.

"I don't know yet….I'm coming home tomorrow." Ruthie said slowly.

"It went that bad huh?" Megan said sadly.

"Actually, no. My birthday went very well. I had a great time with my sisters. But I made the decision before and it's too late to change it."

"Sweetie, it's never too late." Megan said sweetly. Ruthie took a deep breath and thought about it.

"Let me know tomorrow how you feel." Megan said. "Good night. Happy Birthday." With that Megan hung up, not giving Ruthie a chance to make a decision. Ruthie put her phone down and stared into the mirror at herself, not sure who she was really seeing.

* * *

Once the guests had all gone home, the garbage had been picked up, the children were asleep in their beds and Ruthie was out of sight. Matt sought out his parents. But Simon found him first. Matt looked at Simon and shook his head.

"Simon, I already told you no." Matt said firmly.

"I don't care. Matt, I already feel as though I haven't done enough to help her. Please, let me help her." Matt stared down his brother reluctantly. He felt obligated as the oldest to still protect 

his siblings but he understood why Simon was so determined. This whole situation had strained his relationship with Ruthie which pained him enough, but not being able to help had to hurt. "Alright." Simon gave Matt an appreciative nod and followed him into the kitchen to find their mother. She was walking around clearing up the garbage and rinsing plates. Matt knew his father was in the living room which was good because it would be a good place to tell them.

"Mom, could we talk to you and Dad in the living room?" He asked. Annie looked at him smiling, but look on Matt and Simon's faces were not comforting.

"Sure Matt." Annie followed Matt and Simon into the living room where Eric was. Eric looked at Matt and Simon and then at Annie. "They want to talk to us."

"Okay." Eric took a seat beside Annie, Matt and Simon sat down across from them. Matt looked down at the floor and took a deep breath. Simon watched his parents closely before turning his head away.

"This is not something I want to tell you." Matt said trying hard to keep it together. "Especially after how well today went."

"Matt, it's alright. Just tell us." Eric said. Matt looked up at him and then over at Simon.

"Now that we know how far in she is, well, she needs more help then Matt or I can give her." Simon said. Eric looked at them his mouth forming a small thin line to brace for what was coming. Annie shook her head not wanting to hear what no matter how much she denied it, she knew was coming.

"I had my suspicions about Ruthie, but I didn't want to come to you until I knew for sure." Matt ran his hand through his hair and stared down at the carpet.

"We wanted to know for sure. We already knew she was in trouble, just not how much." Simon added.

"What about Ruthie?" Annie asked nervously.

"She has a drug problem." Matt said. The room went silent as the news set in. Matt looked up at his parents, shock written all over their faces. Simon watched his mother carefully, he knew she'd be the hardest to convince.

"What are you talking about?" Annie said finally pulling herself together. She looked at Eric for support.

"Are you sure?" He asked seriously. Annie furrowed her brow and stared at him shocked that he actually believed Matt.

"Eric. Our daughter is not drug addict—"

"Yes she is." Simon said. "She's not the same Ruthie. Mom, I know you know this. She's a different person. The Ruthie we know would never act like this."

"Simon," Matt said quietly. "It's true mom."

"No. No. Yes she's changed but not like that. She's not a completely different person."

"Yes she is. Would the Ruthie you know be a stripper?" Simon blurted out jumping to his feet. Annie looked at Simon her eyes wide. Simon's eyes glistened with tears. "We saw her at her job in New York. She's a dancer at a nightclub. But she's basically a stripper. She might as well be with how little she's wearing…"Simon drifted off seeing the look on his mothers face. He took a seat and put his head in his hands. Matt looked at Simon and then back at his parents he pulled out something from his pocket and dropped it on the table. His mother burst into tears and threw herself into Eric's arms. Tears ran silently down Eric's face.

"She's a cocaine addict, at the very least. I suspect she also does Heroin, from her appearance and because I saw a needle in her dorm room when I visited her once." Matt said slowly once his mother had calmed down a little.

"Why didn't you come to us sooner?" Eric asked anger rising in his voice.

"Because I didn't know how deep she was in, and like you and mom…I didn't want to believe it." Matt watched his parent's faces as they looked at each other crying. Eric took Annie's face in his hands and pulled it close to his.

"We'll help her. I promise. We'll get her help." He whispered. She nodded and hugged him tightly.

"I want to speak with Ruthie first. Before we confront her." Matt spoke up shocking everyone in the room including Simon.

"What?" Simon said looking at him.

"Matt. You can't expect us to keep quiet—"

"Ruthie's already asleep; you won't see her again tonight. And I suggest you don't. First thing tomorrow morning I'll speak to her. But I want to give her the chance to come to you first." Matt said. "Please." He added. Annie looked at Eric as if to say it was up to him. He thought for a moment before nodding solemnly.

"Alright. On one condition." Eric said taking Annie's hand in his.

"I'm listening." Matt said looking over at Simon who reluctantly nodded in understandment.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone sorry for the cliff hanger but it had to be done in order to keep the next chapter the way I want it. I can not reveal anything in order for the next chapter to be the best. The next chapter was actually my original idea and the rest of the story panned out from it. So it will hopefully be the best. I am going to take my time writing it and it will be posted as soon as I am done but dont worry taking my time only meas three or four days at most. :p

We are so close to the end. I want to thank everyone for the great reviews on my last chapter they were entertaining, I love excited you all were thank you. Sorr this one is so short but it needed to be.

Katie


	25. Now or Never Pt 1

Chapter Twenty-Five: Now or Never Part 1

Ruthie awoke the next morning to the sunlight streaming in through her window; she stretched her arms high above her head and back over. She sat up and kicked the blanket off her; she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. She had to make her decision today; whether she would tough it out in Glenoak one more day after how well last night went. Or go home today, and leave on a high note.

A part of her didn't want to leave at all, a part of her wanted to run downstairs and have her mother hold her. But she couldn't, how could she ever face her parents again if they ever found out. She knew they would be so disappointed, but they just don't understand. They would never understand how different a person she was, parts of her still felt like the old Ruthie and often those parts were screaming for her to change back but the pull was so much stronger to stay with her new life.

Ruthie looked over at the bed besides her, her half empty suitcase lay sitting on top. She remembered when she was young and she shared this room with Lucy, she'd even shared it with both Mary and Lucy at one point. She couldn't believe that now she could hardly stand to be in the same room with her sisters, but unfortunately that was true with most of her family. Even Simon.

Ruthie could remember a time when she'd worshipped Simon. He was the coolest person to her and what made it even better was that he was her big brother, now she wanted nothing to do with him and it hurt.

Being a different person didn't take the sting of rejecting your family away, it didn't make it any easier to scream and curse at them, it just made it happen.

Ruthie considered going downstairs and getting something to eat when she noticed the time, it was almost three. She had to make up her mind and fast because she had to be at the airport in a little over an hour. She couldn't believe she'd slept for so long. She was used to being awake all night though, so she didn't fall asleep until early in the morning.

Ruthie got up and pulled out a light green top and a pair of low rider jeans. She put them on and walked over to the mirror. She grabbed a clip and pulled up half of her hair leaving some in the back and the shorter strands wrapped around her face. She looked into the mirror; she pulled at her top frowning. Normally she'd have no problem with the fact that you could see the smiley face on her yellow bra or the fact that you could see her matching g-string underwear. But considering where she was, there was a big problem.

She was about to change when she heard a knock on the door. She turned around and gave Matt a small smile before looking back at her reflection.

Matt stepped into Ruthie's room and watched her adjusting her clothes, he couldn't understand how even the plainest of clothes she could turn slutty. Jeans, low rise. Shirt, see through. Underwear, visible. Matt shook his head and cleared his throat.

"I know your hear, I saw you remember." Ruthie said without turning.

"We need to talk." Matt said simply.

"We're talking aren't we?" Ruthie said her tone bordering on rude. She wasn't making this any easier on him. Ruthie stopped and turned around; Matt was looking at her solemnly. She sighed and took a seat on the bed. She looked up at him and bit her lip. "I'm sorry; I haven't exactly been all that nice to you this week. I just…I was angry with you for tricking me into coming…but I guess I'm not all that sorry I came." Matt turned away from her, he couldn't look at her knowing that he was about to shatter their relationship.

"Ruthie…"

"I'm apologizing Matt." Ruthie said leaning to look at him a confused look on her face.

"Ruthie, I know." Matt said turning to look at her. Ruthie looked at him confused and slightly worried.

"What are you talking about?" Ruthie said.

"I know…" Matt took a deep breath and turned looking Ruthie in the eyes. "I know you do drugs." Matt watched as the color in Ruthie's face drained, she stared at him her face white as snow. He could see her freaking out inside, desperately trying to salvage the situation.

"What?" Ruthie gasped finally.

"I know you have a drug problem—"

"I don't!" Ruthie squeaked standing up and glaring at him. "I can't believe you'd accuse me of that!" She yelled.

"Ruthie, you can't deny it."

"It's not true! So get the hell out of here!"

"If it's not true, then what's this?" Matt pulled out the bag of drugs from his pocket. Ruthie froze the anger from her face disappeared. She looked from at Matt and then at the drugs then back at Matt. "I want you tell Mom and Dad, let them help you." Matt said.

"You searched my room…" She said staring down at the floor, tears in her eyes.

"Ruthie, Mom and Dad can help you if you let them. I want you to tell them." Matt said.

"I can't believe you…What was I thinking coming back here…" Ruthie continued whispering to herself.

"Ruthie! You're not listening!"

"Fuck you!" She shrieked. Matt was taken by surprise by her sudden burst of rage.

"I can't fucking believe you! How dare you! My life is my business. I told you! I told all of you to stay out of it! You couldn't just leave it alone!" She sobbed hysterically.

"Ruthie, I'm giving you a chance to be the one to tell them—"

"Screw you! Don't you get it, I'm not telling them—"

"Then I will!" Matt said sternly.

"You're going to no matter what! How do I know you haven't already?" She sobbed. Her chest was burning as she gasped for air.

"Ruthie?" Matt sounded worried. HE watched his sister holding her chest and gasping for air.

"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" She shrieked. Matt frowned and stared at her tears glistening in his eyes.

"If I leave now, I'm telling them." Matt said his voice dangerously low. Ruthie managed to look up at him her eyes black with hatred. She knew she had to make a decision and quickly, she had to get out of this house and fast…

"Alright…" She whispered pulling herself together. She put her face in her hands and ran her hands back up her face and through her hair. "I'll tell them…Just give me some time to calm down…" She cried. Matt looked at her suspiciously but nodded.

"Alright. Ten minutes." He said and left. Ruthie collapsed onto the floor; she crashed onto her knees and bent over clinging to her hair as it fell over her face. Her shoulders shook with every sob. She gasped for breath as she tried to pull herself together. It wasn't easy, when it felt like her entire life was falling apart in front of her eyes and she was being sucked into a big black hole.

She pulled herself to her feet and began throwing her clothes into her suitcase; everything important was stuffed into her bag. She zipped it up and threw it on the floor. She grabbed her phone and called for a cab to come and pick her up, and quick. They said they'd be there in five minutes.

Rushing around the room she checked one more time to make sure she wasn't leaving anything she wanted (that she could take on the plane.)

Her phone rang. The cab was outside.

Ruthie grabbed one bag and threw it over her shoulder; she grabbed the other and left her room exactly how it was.

Ruthie walked down the stairs to second floor landing she hear voices coming from the kitchen so she took the stairs that lead to the living room. Slowly and quietly she walked down the stars, as she turned the corner she looked out into the living room and froze.

Waiting for her was her entire family; her eyes scanned the somber faces that sat waiting for her. At the head of the group was Matt glaring at her, his eyes mixed with anger and sadness.

Ruthie looked at the door and then back at her family, she wondered if she could make it to the door in time…

* * *

Authors Note: Here is part one. The next chapter will be the last, I hope everyone liked this chapter. I think it went well, the original one I wrote all those months ago was much better but it was a fictional piece so I couldn't use it. But please tell me what you think of the chapter.

I will have the final chapter up in a couple days so stay tuned. : )

Katie


	26. Now or Never Pt 2

Chapter Twenty-Six: Now or Never Part 2

Ruthie glanced from the door to her family, she knew she could make it but it wouldn't be easy and would it really be worth it? Anger and fear bubbled inside her as she watched Matt approach her. She knew it had been a setup all along. He'd already told them. She glared at Matt hatefully, but he seemed unfazed by her stare.

"Ruthie come on down." He said stiffly at the end of the stairs. Ruthie took a deep angry breath and eyed the rest of her family. On the couches were, Mary, Lucy, Sam, David, and Simon. Her parents were standing watching her. Lucy had tears in her eyes and Mary was holding her hand. Sam and David were staring at the floor as though afraid to look Ruthie in the eye, and Simon was watching her unsure how to react, as though his anger was all burned out.

"I'm on my way out. I'm leaving." Ruthie said trying to stay calm, when her insides were screaming. She could feel every inch of her body burning with rage, and a new feeling was overcoming her; a powerful and strong feeling. Like she was untouchable.

"No, you're not." Matt said taking a step in her direction. Ruthie narrowed her eyes and walked down the rest of the stairs so that she was face to face with Matt. Her strength building as she stared down her brother, with an intensity emanating off her that scared even her.

"Don't threaten me Matt." Ruthie said her voice dangerously low as she glared at him in disgust. Her eyes flashed with anger as her eyes met his. He watched her carefully, wondering if she would actually strike him.

"Ruthie come sit down." Eric said firmly. Ruthie didn't even glance in her father's direction, but she could feel the heat of their anger, the holes burning through her as they glared endlessly at her.

"I'm not threatening you. And someday you'll thank me for this." Matt said looking at her directly in the eyes. Ruthie had no sympathy for him, even though she could see the pain in his eyes; he was trying to destroy her life. At this moment all the love she had for her family had vanished as she stared at Matt with pure hatred.

"Don't count on it." She hissed back. She turned to her father, "I already told you I'm leaving. I don't have time for your little family intervention." Ruthie snapped. She was done playing nice, if you could call what she'd been doing nice.

"Sit down, Ruthie!" Annie said raising her voice. Ruthie's eye slid over in her mother's direction, like a snake, she stared at her and stepped off the last step. Ruthie let go of one of her bags and strode over to her mother her walk entrancing and filled with an evil that scared them.

"I am not a little girl anymore. I'm legally an adult. I don't have to listen to you, and I won't." Ruthie snapped, her tone just low enough she wasn't yelling. Annie glared at her in utter 

disbelief. Ruthie thought for a moment then nodded slightly. "I'll humor you and listen to your sob story for all of five minutes and then I'm gone!"

Annie couldn't believe this monster was her daughter, the little girl she raised. The once beautiful and smart child she'd known was ugly and disgusting she could hardly look at her it was so painful. All of her denial went out the window as Ruthie spoke to her with utter disrespect and no remorse in sight.

"You're not leaving. You need help, whether you want It or not. As your family we care about you and are going to ensure that you get the help you need." Annie said glaring at Ruthie. "We all love and care about you—"Ruthie rolled her eyes and landed on Simon who was sitting glaring at her his fist clenched. Annie stopped, she knew Ruthie wasn't listening to her, she was too far gone.

"Ruthie!" Annie snapped.

"Obviously I'm not listening to you." Ruthie said snottily.

"That I can see—"Annie said getting frustrated.

"Trying not to punch me Simon?" Ruthie said pushing his buttons. She crossed her arms and cocked her head smiling evilly at him. She wasn't sure where this strength to deal with this attack was coming from, but she loved it. She felt empowered telling off her family, and the old Ruthie was only a tiny voice off in the distance.

"Of course not. But your arrogance is making it hard not shake some sense into you. You're my sister and I love you. I don't want to see you like this, none of us do." Simon said his face red with anger and from trying not to cry. He looked down at the floor and ran his hands through his hair. He tried hard to remember the old Ruthie, why they were doing this. He tried to block out the monster standing in front of him possessing his innocent little sister.

"Right, So I guess that would make it your turn Lucy?" Ruthie said dismissing Simon and turning to Lucy who had tears running down her face.

"I knew this would be hard…" She cried. She wiped some tears away and looked back up at Ruthie. "But I didn't think it would be this hard…Ruthie, you have…so much potential…You can be so great…We don't want to see you end up…the way you're heading." Ruthie nodded in fake agreement.

"I'm going to tell you the exact same thing you told me all those years ago, you're being selfish; self-destructive doesn't mean you're the only one you hurt. You're hurting everyone in this family and you don't even care." Mary said. Ruthie cracked a smile.

"Very informative." She turned to the twins but held her tongue. "Time's up." Ruthie said looking around the room. The faces had changed for the most part from somber to angry. As far 

as Ruthie was concerned she'd accomplished her goal. She turned to head for the door when Simon yelled.

"Get it through your head, you're not leaving!" Ruthie glared at him, tired of this game and losing her edge.

"We're not letting you leave Ruthie." Eric said sternly. Stepping towards her so that he and Matt were even. Ruthie narrowed her eyes, her head felt like it was about to explode from the heat that was fuming out of her.

"Fuck you! All of you! I already explained this shit to you! I'm leaving and there's nothing you can do." Ruthie grabbed her bags and opened the door. A hand closed around her arm and she spun around. Her eyes closed as she flailed her fists, a sudden fear overtaking her, her breath caught in her throat. She felt her fist collide with someone's face and the grip around her arm loosened. She heard the rest of the family gasp but didn't turn around to see who she'd hit, instead she used this opportunity to escape. She pulled open the door and bolted her bags tightly enclosed in her sweaty hands. The moment the door was open sunlight burst through as though she'd been standing in the dark, engulfed in a lightless space. Her eyes still shut mostly; sweat dripping down her face mixed with tears.

Ruthie raced down the driveway hearing her name called out after her. She hopped into the cab and looked back to see her mother and father standing outside watching her drive off. Matt was standing in the door way his face red, and tears sliding down his face. She turned her back on them and faced forward. Driving away from her home, her childhood, her family and their pain.

The road stretched out in front of her trees surrounding her on either side; tar as far as she could see. A calmness settled over her as she imagined the city skyline coming into view as the plane flew over New York.

The Statue of liberty and other landmarks visible as they grew closer and closer to their destination.

The lights of the runway flickering red as the plane came in for a landing.

The cool air hitting her face as she stepped out of the plane and breathed in the damp night air.

Bobbing along with the crowds of people unaware and uninterested in her life or the lives of the people around her.

The hot, stuffy airport crammed with thousands of self-centered homeward bound New Yorkers, with occasional tourist here and there, visible by their tired but happy faces.

The sight of the two people in the world who knew and accepted the real her, standing waiting for her.

The calmness she felt in their arms as the tension and pain of the past seven days were erased with a single hug.

The look in Megan's eyes when she saw the pain in Ruthie's.

Knowing she was safe from prying eyes, back in the city where no one cared.

It was good to be home.

* * *

Authors Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! AT 10:04 I WILL BE EIGHTEEN!! WHOOO HOOO! I have had it planned since the beginning for this story to star on my half birthday (February 14th Valentines day) and end on my brithday (August 14th) So, if all goes according to plan, the first chapter of the sequel should be up very soon a couple days. So please continue to be amazing and give this last chapter the reviews it deserves. So read, enjoy and review this chapter.

I hope everyone has enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I know it may not have ended the way some of you expected but in order for my master plan to be achieved this is how I envisioned the first part ending. I am happy with how it turned out, I tried very hard to make this chapter longer and I took into consideration all the suggestions I got in the last chapter and tried to include thoughts and feelings of her family. So, hopefully you were all satisfied, and I will see you in the sequel!

Lots of Love,

Katie


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